YoNg heNg GuO Du

2008-06-17T22:44:00.002+08:00

I am stressed with work..

I am touched that u actually came online when you are actually going to bed already.. came online jus to talk to me to help me relieve my stress. It jus reminded me this was wat you did when I was in sec 3.. stress with sch wrk.. and you told me nt to be stress.. at most u will help me do my homework the next day.

All i wanna say is.. thanks.. thanks alot. :)

2008-06-15T23:15:00.002+08:00

I am beginning to update my blog only once in a while~ haha..

Have been working and had been feeling tired everyday after work. Been really tired for the past few days. Never had enough sleep at all.

Met loy cheng and kalai on wed for dinner coz cheng gng for ns on fri, then met hui on thurs to buy present and also met sarah & eddric for dinner coz eddric gng ns on fri oso. Met hui and eugene on fri for dinner at geylang.. we ate crab! yea! my fav!! wee~ And on sat.. i was really tired.. bee chin and weiling.. so sorry eh.. make u all carry so many things in the end.. coz i was late.. wouldn't have been late.. but when i reach hm.. i fell asleep on the sofa.. so ps.

I think i gt alot to write.. but im tired nw already.. so i guess i jus end here.. will continue on some other day.. haha.

2008-06-01T21:57:00.004+08:00

Been busy!! So.. my blog was not updated.. haha

Before i begin in any of the updates.. I AM STARTING WORK AT RITZ MANSION TML!!! wee~ im abit nervous though.. but i hope for the best. I am very fresh in this line..and i hope i will pick things up very fast.. so that my incharge wont be worried. I'll do my best as a property officer!!

Last day in oscar on wed.. so sad.. still not sure if i would gng back to wrk.. haix.. but i still hope that at least once in a month.. we can still meet up and drink.. hahaha.. coz it's az pay day on the 27th of every month.

Had my graduation on thurs.. but it was boring.. the class isnt there.. nt even the whole clique turned up. But.. im still happy that i've GRADUATED officialy!! Gotten my diploma!! wee~

Went to shop for wrking clothes on fri with hui and ling. haha.. first time i buy so many things sia.. wahaha. Carry the shopping bags and walk around is really tiring!! hahahaha. Dwn to clarke quay after that.. as always.. had a gd time laughing and disturbing az with the rest. Eddric was drunk and everyone went back to have fun after his friends send him home.

In the end.. on sat.. i only slept for 3 hours and i went out with sarah.. then went to island coz eddric came to town to send sarah to wrk. Acc ling to doc and then down to dbl o with hui and ling to meet the oph ppl.. farewell for wei long.. coz he is gng to serve the nation and be a man!! hahaha. Unhappy things happened after that.. its my fault coz i din hold my temper.. the quarrel could have been avoided.. drinking shld be a happy session and it shld end happily just like the drinking session on fri. Everything was fine until the end.. all i can say is it is my fault.. im sorry..

i was just too worried and i've drank over my limit.. moving a little already makes me feel like vomitting.. and yet i had to chase u after the quarrel.. ask shan to send u hm.. u din wan to.. u are still as stubborn.. nobody's happy in the end. U left nail marks on my hand and finger.. but luckily it wasnt serious at all. Maybe the correct thing to do.. is not to drink too much when im drinking with u.. at least stay within my limits. On the phone u said that ps is drunk and shouldn't drive home but he isnt and the one who is drunk is u not him.. he can drive home safely.. and i wanted to get hm so badly coz im really nt ok already.. but u were still talking to ps.. and in the end i shouted. Ridiculous things said on the phone.. all i can say is that things aren't the way u think they are.. there was no comparison at all.. u are still the best buddy i have and i dun need to compare u with anyone. Both of u are indivduals and i treat both of u equally good. The one who is comparing is nt me.. but u urself. Right now.. im lost.. totally lost..gt no idea how to maintain this friendship.. maybe i should not have walked into ur live and things might be better. but.. the fact cannot be changed.. i've already walked into ur live and u've walked into mine.. each of our footprints had already imprinted on each other's lives.. all I hope is that things would get better..

2008-05-04T02:06:00.002+08:00

Yea~ I'm happy.. coz after so many months.. julian finally gave me his chivas!! wahahaha..

Suddenly.. i realise that i'm such a boring person.. seems like i do not have the ability to brighten a person's day up.. i think my life is so boring.. is like jus wrking wrkin wrking and wrking. Eventhough i meet up with friends sometimes.. had a nice time chilling with them.. had a gd laugh but at the end of the day i realise that i only enjoyed listening to them updating their live.. and it seems like i've gt nothing to contribute. It is very easy for people to brighten my day.. but i think it is not easy for me to brighten somebody's day. No matter how hard i've tried.. i just cannot brighten anybody's day.

Maybe i'm just a boring person.. leading a boring live.. I WANNA CHANGE ALL OF THESE!!!!!

2008-04-28T01:47:00.002+08:00

While waiting for my anime to load, i've came to do some updates..

Hmm.. been working since thurs.. all i can say is that i'm tired!! My first time to work at jazz by the beach.. it was kinda fun.. but was very tiring as i had to reach cool deck at 8.45 am which is earlier than anybody else!!! went to MOS after that.. the cover charge is ex.. the drinks are also ex.. no more this type of club for me anymore.. Coz it wasn't really fun.. only can dance dance dance and not drink drink drink.. very bored!! I rather spent the money at Balcony Bar.. haha.

Finally i can rest tml and then wrked for another 3 days... rest again on fri.. but still thinking whether to work oph on sat and sun.. hmm.. it is like no longer fun to work in oph.. v sian.. i missed those time that all of us had spent in oph.. haix.. but everything wont be the same anymore..

Lesser and lesser staff are working at oscar nw.. it is terribly short of staff.. and all i can say is that it is not my managers are stressed.. it is only my supervisor is stressed with the staff strength.. i think she is v poor thing.. staff not happy with the management.. they dun voice out.. all they do is quit.. and my supervisor is like in btwn the staff and the management.. On my part as a staff.. i cant do much.. i can only work as much as possible.. work whenever i can.. actually i can work everyday if i wan.. but i need to rest.. hahaha.. i am like getting older.. no longer like last time.. no problem with working everyday.. but right now i cant.. i need to rest.. i think my health is deteriorating.. getting weaker.. eyebag getting heavier.. headaches are occuring more often now.. this is bad..

I am still waiting for my letter of appointment.. aaaahhhh.. i wish the HR would call me asap.. so that i can secure this job.. at least i wont be hanging on the air now dunno whether i should look for another job.. or should i wait for the HR to call me.. aaahhhh..

Hmm.. Although it is a little sad that everyone is busy with their own things and there is so little time spent for catching up.. it still good to see that everyone is doing well now and all are very happy. Recently, it seems that i've understand why some things can't last forever.. as long as time exist, nothing will not change, everything will be different as the time past. This is also the reason why memories exist, isn't it? Memories are beautiful when you want them to be beautiful, so i guess it is up to me whether i want those memories to be beautiful anot. Now thinking back, i've made those memories not a beautiful one and sometimes i wanted so much to make up for what i've did and for being so inappreciative but i guess it is really impossible for make up for what i've did because those memories are already not beautiful anymore. No matter how much effort i've put in to make up for the past misdeeds, it is already considered useless. All i can do now is to create beautiful memories, but the question to myself is, how can i do it if i'm still dwelling on the past? I just wonder..

Sometimes, i feel that i'm just a human wondering around this world without a soul.......

2008-04-23T15:13:00.002+08:00

GD NEWS!! I'VE GOT THE JOB AT HILANDAS!! I'm so happy.. gt a fulltime job finally and it is smth related to wat i've study!! wee~ Pay is not bad and most likely i will work in hillview area.. which is near my place! hahaha.

Should be starting work in june.. but this also means that my trip to hk will need to be postpone.. coz it is not nice to take leave when u are on probation period. But maybe this postpone is also good.. coz like that then ling and bee can join us.. and we can fulfil our original plan! hehe

Right now.. i'll need to work hard in oscar and oph and maybe suntec!! coz like that then i can earn money for ling's bdae.. haha.

2008-04-21T02:11:00.003+08:00

21/4/08 8:25p.m
Went to Hilandas for interview with lijun.. hmm.. the interview is more like a casual talk rather than interview.. hopefully i'll get this job.. and im sure that lijun will get this job.. so i shall congrats her on my blog first. wahaha.

I saw the giorgio armani phone ytd at vivo!! ahhh.. it is so nice.. i like it and i want it!! The design is simple and yet it gave u a elegant feeling. i think it is a classy phone.. omg.. i'm so loving it and the thing i like most about this phone is the full touch screen!! I always wanted a touch screen phone.. but this armani phone cost 1000+ with plan.. aahhhh.. for the sake of this phone.. i shall save!!! whether i'll buy it anot.. it will be another thing but the first is to save up for this phone!!

21/4/08 1:00a.m
Wrked for these 2 days.. wrk was ok but tiring coz i had insomnia for past 2 nights.. slept less than 10 hours for 2 days.. OMG.. and i nearly overslept on bus today.. haha.. Work is fine but doing opening at cool deck for 2 days straight was definitely tiring!!!

Chatted with mum just now.. haix.. family problems.. sian.. Really very irritated by their mindset and the way they do the things.. Can't stand it.. I really wish that i have the ability to solve all these fucking irritating problems.. but i can't w/o a fulltime job.. coz it means that i do not have the financial ability to solve the problems.

I wanna live my life the way i want it to be.. i really wan.. i dun wan to see my parents still wrking when they are getting older.. i wanna have the ability to let them lead a comfortable live when they are old.. i need a job and money to afford the lifestyle i wan..

2008-04-18T04:48:00.007+08:00

It is 4:48 in the morning.. a cooling and rainy morning.. but i couldn't get into sleep.

Why? Maybe it is because i'm a little stressed up all of a sudden. This could be due to i'm now still working part time and had not get myself a fulltime job. Maybe it is time for me to accept job that huihui found for me.. maybe it is really time that i start to send resumes to companies.. hmm.. usually.. im stress and i don't know why. But this time round.. i'm stress and i know the reason. I think maybe it is time for me to do something about it.

I know it very well that i can't afford to slack around but it seems to me that i can't really stop myself from slacking. *Slacking doesn't mean i'm not working.. it means that i'm not working everyday* I want to go back to school!!! I want to continue studying!! I really wished that my parents are able to afford to let me continue in U.. so i won't be bothering myself about finding a fulltime job. But i guess this is part and parcel of life.. it is not always a smooth journey in life.. and i guess i began to met obstacles in my life now and i just has to accept and overcome it.

I hate it when my parents are pushing me to get a fulltime job.. i really hate it. I really wish to take my time.. but i know it very well that i don't have much time left...

18th april 2008, 12:41am

Been so free recently.. haha.. tt's why i can blog almost everyday.. wahaha. Went to Carnivore at vivo for dinner today.. hmm.. the food there is not bad, but didn't eat much.. i'm nt a meat eater.. got full v easily with all the meat.. haha.. and the dessert is nice.. i like the banana!! wahaha. But i still think that going there with a group of friends will be more fun!! wahaha. Save save save.. but im really spending more money!! haha.. i just realised that if i had spent lesser.. by now.. i could have bought ling's bdae present already!! omg.. i've spent so much already.. this is bad. I should really start to save save save!! If not, i will not have enough to buy bdae present and go travelling le.. hmm.. from tml onwards.. i should start to take bus and train.. no more cabs for me!! (unless those can be claimed) :( So i must really work work work.. if nt i'll have to look for jobs already!! i need money money money!

2008-04-18T00:53:00.003+08:00

Been so free recently.. haha.. tt's why i can blog almost everyday.. wahaha.

Went to Carnivore at vivo for dinner today.. hmm.. the food there is not bad, but didn't eat much.. i'm nt a meat eater.. got full v easily with all the meat.. haha.. and the dessert is nice.. i like the banana!! wahaha. But i still think that going there with a group of friends will be more fun!! wahaha.

Save save save.. but im really spending more money!! haha.. i just realised that if i had spent lesser.. by now.. i could have bought ling's bdae present already!! omg.. i've spent so much already.. this is bad. I should really start to save save save!! If not, i will not have enough to buy bdae present and go travelling le.. hmm.. from tml onwards.. i should start to take bus and train.. no more cabs for me!! (unless those can be claimed) :( So i must really work work work.. if nt i'll have to look for jobs already!! i need money money money!

2008-04-16T15:02:00.003+08:00

Met up with poly classmates ytd for a early mini celebration of lijun's bdae. Dinner at sushi tei and then off to Balcony bar for chilling session. It was kinda fun to meet up with them as we hadn't been meeting up after the last exams.

Thinking back, i've been drinking once a week for past few weeks already.. this is so nt my lifestyle.. haha.. but its ok.. im loving it! Wahahaha. Drink Drink Drink.. lol.

According to the previous entry, i wanted to cut down my expenses but.. i guess it is like impossible.. im spending more and more money!!! aaaaahhhh.. this is bad!!! how am i gonna save up!!!! omg!!!!!! this is bad bad bad!!!

Hmm.. still no news frm united premas about the job at town council.. hmm.. i wonder if i'd get this job.. haiz..

2008-04-14T21:58:00.006+08:00

Was reading my previous blog entries just now. Haha.. so much of memorable moments.. happy or sad.. all of them came into my mind. I think my language is getting from bad to worse.. haix.. i hope it will improve.. haha. Reading those entries, made me recalled a lot of things that had happened last time. I almost forgot that weiling was once my'new found fren', almost forgot that i actually wanted to '找回以前的笑声', so many things that had happened.. and i actually almost forget what had happened.

Right now, i can't find words to describe what i am feeling.. but looking back.. i do have great friends around me, don't i? Thanks ppl, u shld noe who u are.

Treasure those who are important to u before u lose them, before everything is too late. I just wanna say.. I'll always be there for u.. always..

2008-04-14T19:55:00.002+08:00

Debit card bill was here, and once again, i din noe i spent so much money already. Most importantly, i did not know i've gt so much money to spent. haha. Think i really need to cut down my expenses, especially my daily cab expenses!!! Have been taking cab nowadays!! haha..

Gotta cut down all these unnecessary expenses.. so that i can save money for more important occasions!! ahahahaha.

2008-04-13T22:53:00.003+08:00

I'M SICK!!! Sorethroat and flu got better but the coughing worsened after drinking tt night.. hmm.. and im tired!! Nt enough slp!! but i shall not complain about not having enough sleep, coz i noe there is still ppl who had lesser slp than me. wahaha.

But im still tired, coz today did opening at cool deck. hmm.. it is getting more tedious to do opening at cool deck coz there are more chairs and tables to arrange.. and as usual, the most hateful thing is the shutter!!! Always had a hard time to open the shutters. I wonder how am i gng to survive this coming sat and sun coz im opening cool deck again!!! So i shall have enough rest at hm frm mon to fri!!!

Im too tired to think wat am i gng to update the blog.. shall update when i can remember what i shld update. haha.

2008-04-11T15:55:00.002+08:00

Boohoohoo~ I'm SICK!! Damn.. sorethroat, fever, cough and flu. Think i have not been resting well, that's why i fell sick.

Suppose to go drink tonight, was actually v excited to go.. but because all either nv reply or nt confirm, make me feel damn low about going drinking. But we are still going to drink. Right now, mood nt v gd.. dunno why. hopefully later will be fun.

Btw, i went to town council for interview in the morning just now. It was ok i think.. but i felt nervous. Hopefully i can get this job. hmm..

2008-04-07T15:56:00.003+08:00

A new year, a new start, therefore i need a new blogskin!

It has been quite long since i've blogged. Too busy with too many things. Having the holidays now, and soon im gonna step on a journey that never ends! Right now, im kinda lost, no idea whether when i should start looking for a full time job and i seems to be very busy with my part time jobs. STRESSED!

Anyways, i'm backed from malaysia. Parents, uncles, aunties and cousins decided to take up grandpa's and uncle's bones and put it in the temple. Though it is gonna be easier for us when we go back for ching ming, but there will be lesser and lesser family gathering as my cousins in KL wont be back for ching ming already, for my uncle's bones will be put in KL. Haix.. as the time past, so much had changed. Mahjong in Malaysia with my aunties.. got no idea what got into me, seems like the tiles know me better than i know them.

Recently, i have a new hobby and that is DRINKING!! Though im not one who is gd at drinking but i've been having the urge to drink. There is always someone i wanted to drink with, but the chances for us to go drinking together seems v low. But still i enjoyed the company of oscar peeps and oph peeps when we drink together.

2008-01-04T01:01:00.000+08:00

Belated happy new year to everybody!!

Wahaha, i'm so late in wishing everybody a happy new year. Din have the time to blog, din have the mood to blog.. too busy with work.. needs more time to rest.. but i guess the beginning of this new year, 2008 will be tiring for me. Coz i need to work alot more to save up for graduation trip and at the same time, manage my time for projects, which up till now, i couldn't manage the time well at all.

Well, this is a new year, and of course, everybody including me hope that this will be a good year with lesser bad things happening and more good things to come.

My NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONs:
1. Have more time for projects but i can still work as much as i wan so i can earn more money for all my wants!
2. Pass all my modules since this is already the last sem
3. Find a job related to Real Estate after graduation
4. Get myself a LV epi leather wallet and epi leather speedy
5. Save more money for my fren's 21st bdae present (ling in june, hui in oct and etc.)
6. Hopefully i can get to travel after the exams
7. If possible, i would like to further my studies!

2007.. good bye 2007.. been through alot of 'hardships' in this yr and i feel that i grown up in terms of thinking through all these 'hardships'. Nothing will remain the same forever, everything will change and i grew to learn to accept these changes which i couldn't last time. Had been more opened up to people, which i think it is a good thing for me, isn't it? I am glad that the less emo me is back at the end of this yr.. i bet kalai and some other people would agree that this is good for me too. 2007 isn't a v gd yr for me, but in a way, i'm happy that these sad things makes me grow up. I may lose 1 thing, but in return, i've gain alot more. Been busy with work this yr, which means i've earn more money but i've spent alot more money as compared to other years.. haha. Maybe it is because of work, i got more closer to oph peeps, some sentosa peeps and ling oso. I did not have much memory on the first half of the year which i dun understand why but memory of the 2nd half of 2007 was imprinted in my heart and mind. Drastic changes in me during the 2nd half of the year, from buddy to just friend, became very brand-conscious, spent money like water, from a very emo person to happy-go-lucky me and etc. So so so many things happened in just half a year.. and right now, thinking back, i wonder how i actually handled those break downs i had. I have 1 person in mind to thank and that person is wei ling. Although you were not always there when i needed someone to talk to, but you were there most of the time, really wanna thank you for willing to lend me a listening ear.

Think through alot, seen through alot, learnt alot from wei ling, i'm sure that i would be a better friend now, waiting for the chance to show you so. The new year msg u sent me : (translated to eng) Don't forget what used to belongs to you, never gives up those that belongs to you, treasure those that you have put in a whole lot effort in order to make them yours, memories shall be those that you have lost, what's past is past. - this is part of the sms, hmm.. i guess it makes sense, maybe you will soon become part of my memory and i'll nv forget what used to belongs to me, i kinda feel sad when i saw this sms, but suprisingly, i was alright after a few seconds.. haha, perhaps i was busy with work on the new yr eve. After all, i've changed, won't think so much already. We shall just remain as what we are now, maybe this is the best time to show you how much i've changed.

2007-12-26T15:01:00.000+08:00

woah.. been busy these few days.. been very very busy with work.. haha.. afterall its all about money money money!!

It was xmas ytd! MERRY XMAS TO EVERYONE! Stayed overnight in oph in the eve and celebrated with everyone for Xmas. Thanks huiwen, sze yin and yen yin for the havainas and necklace. Thanks Ling for the psp game. and thanks yan shan for the cookies.

It is the first xmas spent without u, though i feel a little sad, but i did enjoy myself with the oph peeps, i hope u enjoyed urself too.

To you:

Actually, i wun mind if u just comment in my blog, but in a way, im glad that u din. haha.. i guess its all about respecting each other in blogging. Read ur blog again, and yes i agree with wat u said. Having a bf is one thing and having a gd fren is another. I will not say that u are greedy, coz if im the one in ur position, i would wan both too. And im glad that u noe that she treasures u and u are definitely impt to her. Wat i meant in the previous entry is nt asking u to give up or wat, but i would wan u to understand that sometimes take things more easily would be a better way out. There's definitely ups and downs in a r/s, but i believe it is up to one to control the numbers of ups and downs in this r/s. I shall not say anymore, coz i noe that u understand and i noe that u have confidence in her and this friendship. No matter how much both of u went thru, as long as u think its worthwhile, no one can break the bond between the both of u. I hope all the best for u and this friendship. :)

2007-12-18T23:28:00.001+08:00

Din have much time to blogged in the afternoon today.. so i shall continue nw..

Seems like a lot of things had happened since sch terms starts.. things around me are changing, ppl around me is changing.. basically everything is changing and i'm changing too. I hope this change in me is good, i guess im happier nw and i feel that i have more friends now, though sometimes, i still miss going out with u, hanging around in jp with u, movies with u.. and so many things tat i missed doing with u. Things had changed so much that i dun even dare to ask u out in the v last min, so afraid that u might just say that u dun wan or u cannot make it. (Maybe i jus din get used to getting turned dwn by u) So i would rather not ask u out. I do not noe whether things are better this way nw or it is better last time, but for one thing that i noe for sure, things will definitely be better if we are still as close as last time with i am who i am today. Sounds like i regretted with my own decision, maybe i am, but i noe wat is the best for me right now. Think you are more carefree now and u seems to be happier.

There are more bad things happened as compared to good things.. i guess, this end of year is a bad period huh? It is like there are so many quarrels, so many misunderstandings and many many more. But i think all these are unavoidable. Maybe we shld all learn to understanding in order to cut down all these quarrels and misunderstanding.

i have read your blog, though i noe it is nt nice of me to write in my blog and i noe u din ask for my opinion, but i really want to tell u this. I nv had a chance to talk to u about this, coz i din noe how to say all these to you and i think that i am not in a position to tell you and i am afraid that i say someting wrong and makes things worse. Though i do not know what happened between both of you, but i think that it is quite obvious that someone else is more impt to her than u. I think you shldn't keep hanging on like this anymore, i think it is not worth for you to make urself so depressed, so many times that you break down because of this. I am not saying that this friendship is nt worth ur tears, but if you think that wat she is giving u are all lies, and it seems like she nv keep to her words to you then i think there isn't a need for u to get so attached to the things she says to u. Coz it is like, u break down, then somethings she said to u, u take it seriously and it seems to you that there is a hope for this friendship, then after awhile, u feel that she nv keep to her words, and u feel like giving up. I understand the situation u are in, and i think im nt fit to tell u all these coz i was once like this too. All i can say to u is that being nt so stubborn will be a better way out.. coz no matter wat, u still have ur bf by ur side. Think in a way that this is the way that they treat friends, we may think tat they dun care, think that we are nt impt to them, but maybe we are, just that they dun treat impt ppl the same way as we are. No matter how impt they are to us, we will nv be as impt to them as they are to us.

2007-12-18T11:49:00.000+08:00

Wahaha.. i guess my blog has been dead for a month or so.. is it? hmm.. i'm just too busy to blog.. too many assignments, projects and tutorials to do already. However, i maybe able to find a little time out to blog, but i guess.. i'm just too lazy.. haha.

Alright, common tests are over, though i'm nt sure can pass anot.. i hope i can pass. haha. So the term break begins this week till new year.. then sch starts again. I'll be busy working during these 2 weeks.. and come to think of it.. i'll not have time to complete those individual assignments... DIE! hmm.. guess i'll just have to find some time out for assignments...

Caught Mr. Magorium and his wonder emporium on thurs with ling and Alvin and the chipmunks with oph peeps on fri. Both are nice show, one is nice and meaningful and the other is cute and funny. X'mas period always have all these cute shows screening in the theatres. Ah.. i wanna watch alvin and chipmunks again.. haha.

Think tt's all for today's entry.. haha.. need get some rest first b4 i go and prepare my things for project meet up later. wahaha.. think i'm gonna buy Initial D for my psp later on. hehe.

2007-11-04T00:02:00.000+08:00

Another tiring week.. haix.. every week seem so tiring for me.. be it im working anot.. always so tired.. nt enough sleep might be the cause of it.. or maybe im just making myself tired so that i wun have the time to think about anything.. wateva it is.. i think i need a break.. but i noe it v well that i can't stop working.. i can't..

Im drinking soup cooked by my mum.. aw.. its been so long since i've drank homemade soup.. its nice! i love it.. thanks mummy! :)

Lots of things to be done.. tutorials.. projects.. so many things piled up.. aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!

Ling is flying on the coming mon.. bon voyage girl.. have a safe trip and enjoy urself there.. alrite? Cai fen had finished her papers! congrats girl.. guess i'll see every function next week! Huiwen.. pls work hard for your papers.. ok? endure for a week more and we'll all go sing K together! wee~ can't wait for that day to come!

'Don't let someone becomes ur priority in live when u are just an option in theirs'.. i think this sentence makes a lot of sense.. isn't it? Just like me.. im only an option in everyone lives including those whom i put them as my priority.. no matter how hard i try.. im always only an option.. frm pri sch to now.. nth has changed.. nth..

2007-10-29T22:52:00.000+08:00

Wow! Its been a week since i've last blog.. hahaha.

Woah.. its been a tiring week.. ITP report needs to be submitted.. tutorials needs to be done.. Presntations needs to be prepared.. haix.. plus.. i'm working the whole day during weekends.. WHERE TO FIND TIME! All i can say is that i'm lucky to have my group members that are undersanding and efficient. To hui and zihui, im sorry eh.. been busy working and i din contribute to the RMT presentation. I'll try my best to contribute as much as i can.. ok?

From fri onwards, i've been reaching hm at around 3am.. then next day must wake up early for work on sat and rush thru report on sun.. omg.. NOT ENOUGH SLEEP! I think i've over tired my body..falling sick soon.. haix.. but i cant fall sick! Sick means cannot go work.. no work means no money! aaaaahhhhhhhh.. no money means i cant save up for HK trip! nonono.. i must be strong.. i cant fall sick!

After jiang yuan left us.. now its haidi's turn.. so sad.. so 'thanks' to tt bastard! hate him to the core! Poor haidi.. b4 he leaves, the guys waxed him! omg.. so painful.. they bought the veet thingy.. they paste on his chest and legs.. and then pull.. and *poof* the hair came out! SO PAINFUL! But they had fun.. the cake tt was ordered from chris girlfriend.. its so nice! Choco cake.. YUM YUM! (too bad tt ling din come and therefore she din get to eat the very nice choco cake) The guys from restaurant.. all trying to make haidi drunk.. so funny.. though they din have any after work program.. it was nice seeing them playing around.. hahahaha.. and it was nice for me to drink some chivas.. hahaha.. chivas plus pepsi light taste quite nice leh.. can try next time.. hehe.

Thanks to those who had always be by my side when i need to talk to someone.. weiling.. huiwen.. caifen.. thank you very much. Ling.. sorry to have made u worried on sat.. haha.. im nt drunk.. but i really lost my watch.. though is lost for a few hours only la.. haha.. i will not be blur next time le.

Huiwen.. work hard for 'o' levels.. ok? 2 more weeks and we sing k together le!
Caifen.. u oso work hard for 'o' levels.. dun overtired urself.. ok?
Ling.. u better take care of ur health! be good and stay at home for more rest.. ok? pls dun get me A grade from korea.. i dun need A grade.. i need the real thing more.. hahaha.. but u can get some for urself.. hehe.

Drinking makes me feel sad.. haix.. after so many days.. i finally teared.. and since sat nite.. i've been having the feeling to cry.. i dunno why.. im not suppose to be sad.. and i think im not sad.. but i just do not know why my tears would drop and roll down my cheeks.. I feel so uncomfortable with you being so formal to me this morning.. maybe its regret tt i feel.. i dunno. I just wanna tell u that though u are no longer my priority.. that does not mean that u meant nth to me.. it just that all the other closer friends are in the same 'rank' as u.. i still treasure u.. and i treasure the rest as much as i tresure you at the same time.

2007-10-23T01:00:00.000+08:00

Wee~ Went to town again for some shopping.. bought materials for ling's key chain and im happy.. coz i've got a new laptop bag for my new laptop! Thx lijun for tt present! hehe.. and also thanks ling for helping to choose the accessory that is suppose to hang on my laptop bag. :)

Went to big o's but din get to eat waffle.. but at least i get to eat the cod fillet! hehe.. so sad that zihui couldn't join us for shopping after that.. coz she made huda angry wor.. lol.. zihui this kuku. Shall not comment much about that.

Sometimes i really wonder.. why must everybody get so upset about all these things? So much tears shed for all these still not enough? Now i'm fine with this and u all are not? Why are u all still sort of quarrelling? I've gt no idea.. all i wanted is everybody to be happy.. but things does not seems to be turning out that way. It seemed like i've got out of this and u all are not. Why must we get so upset about all these? haix.. i really wonder..

Now listening to 987.. It is now playing:

THE REASON by HOOBASTANK

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear
I've found a resaon for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

2007-10-19T00:09:00.000+08:00

Thanks for being a great close friend to me. Not everyone is able to tolerate my fluctuating attitude and emotions. U are the best friend that i ever had. I guess all these decisions and endings its the best. Though i feel sad about this, i feel relieved too. Its ok that we are not close friends anymore because we are still classmates and we are still friends, just that i am no longer your priority and you are no longer mine. Though you are no longer my priority, i still want you to be happy because you were once my best friend. Sorry for having to quarrel with you all the time and sorry for making you unhappy at some point of time. I am not a perfect person, but you were the one who change me quite drastically. I thank you for making my bad points in to good points and i blame myself for making my good points into bad ones. Hopefully, i will be able to maintain what you have changed me into and in addition, turn my bad points into good ones. I want to be a better friend, i hope i would be one very soon. Things are not the same anymore, everyone changed, everything changed, change in the only constant in this world. I feel sad about this change, but i can't help it too.

I hope you would be happier with this decision you have made, i will try to make myself happy too. To you and to all out there, treasure everything that you have now, do not lose them like how i lose this close friend of mine. Since I've already lose you, i shall not feel regret as i brought this upon myself. All i can do now is to wish, hope and pray that you will smile always because nothing worth more than that.

This might be better for me, because maybe only like this then i won't feel stress about all these anymore.

stay happy always.. ok? can i still turn to you when i am down, when i need a listening ear? i hope i can because we are still friends.. right?

2007-10-17T21:44:00.000+08:00

Ytd, 16/10/07 was a happy day! coz i went shopping! wahaha.. bought things tt i've wanted to buy long long time ago! Crumpler bagpack, Agnes B key ring and hp charm.. im loving them! wee~ Shopped for my fav things really made my day! hehe.. thx ling for acc me..

Today my lover came to sch with her xiao pang to crash our lect! wee~ so happy to see her.. everything was alright.. till in the evening.. haix.. to u.. i really dunno wat to do.. buy u $5 things, u dun use.. buy u $50 things, use a few mth then nv use.. buy u $1000 things.. i also dun see u use.. im v disappointed.. nt angry.. but disappointed.. there's so much things tt i wanna buy for myself.. and i forgo everything tt i want and tried my very best to give you the best.. and wat do i get.. things i bought.. u jus chuck it aside.. so i guess.. if u are really getting a wallet this x'mas.. i guess the wallet tt i gave u which actually made u so touched.. u will jus chuck it aside too.. So pointless of me to buy u things.. so pointless nw.. coz things tt other ppl buy for u.. i see u use it.. things i buy.. u nv use them.. haix.. i guess u will nv know how sad i will be when i see things tt i buy for u.. u nv use them.. its not about the amount i spent.. it about the thought frm me to buy u things.. and seeing u nt using them.. just made me feel so nt appreciated.. maybe u dun use them coz u think they are ugly... i dunno.. and i wanna noe..

Nw thinking back.. its dumb for me to shed tears jus nw.. maybe.. its jus so disappointing for me.. i hate it.. i hate myself for being this way.. i jus wanna be friendly with everyone.. is it so difficult? i dunno.. im clueless..

2007-10-16T01:28:00.000+08:00

WOW! Its been sooooooooooo long already.. ahahhaa.. as usual.. im lazy lo.. wat to do.. hahaha..

Anyways.. its been a tiring 7 weeks.. coz im having attachment.. and still im working during weekends and also some weekdays.. really din get enough sleep.. haix.. tired! but no choice.. i need money la.. if nt how to buy my LV.. rite? hahaha

Other than feeling tired, happy, sad and anger are also filling me in these 7 weeks.. Happy that i enjoyed my company in oph.. all oph peeps made my day worth it.. understanding manager, helpful colleagues.. wat else could i asked for.. I LOVE ALL THE 38 SESSIONS WITH MY DARLINGS! I've been missing out so much for past few mths as i was wrking in sentosa.. but still wrking in sentosa is still as gd.. coz my company there oso very fun! hehe.. all the crazy moments with sentosa peeps made my day too! I believe there will be more crazy moments to come! Wee~
I guess, sad and anger.. there is only one person who have made me feel this way for now..

Been spending alot of money lately.. this is bad.. coz im going to spent more tml! What makes it worse is that i had not return my mum and bro! This is bad! argh.. This also means tt i gotta work and work for the sake of my own expenses again.. need to work hard.. so i can buy my LV card holder.. need a new card holder le.. maybe.. i wanna change wallet oso.. hehe. Shall see how much i am able to save first.. coz i need to save up for HK trip.. aaaaaaaahhhhhhh.. this is bad! Money money money.. like i said.. my attachment pay is nt enough for me to spent.. damn.. haha.

I really dunno wat had hapened, maybe, i've asked too much from you, expected too much frm you.. and tt's why we are now like this.. Drifted apart. But still, i give in my v best to plan for ur bdae, hope u were happy on tt day. Happy moments don't last.. so i hope u appreciated those moments. I may not be able to do all these for u already, coz u have other friends beside u to do as much as i could do for u and maybe much more than i could do for u. Enjoy ur company with other friends.. ok? treasure them.. dun lose them like how i lose you.. but i noe u wun lose them and u will treasure them too. I'm sorry that i always make you angry, i am nv understanding enough and only till now.. then i know i din understand u at all.. i nv know wat u like except for lv.. dunno ur taste in fashion.. I'm sorry. Maybe, right now.. i should just take my leave.. stay away frm ur personal live.. coz i can't stay away from u due to sch. U are still v impt to me, but its nt worth for u to have me this friend who always made you angry, fight with you over the least impt things ever. Just because you are impt, to me, Nth worth more than ur smile.. so keep smiling.. ok?

2007-09-03T21:50:00.000+08:00

Once again, i haven been blogging! Im just too busy.. busy with fyp, then exams and nw attachment!! aaaahhh.. no holiday this semester, coz having attachment. But its ok, at least i can learn at work and at the same time get paid! wee~

Why am i here to blog? coz ling say i long time nv update my blog le.. therefore.. ta da! im here to update my blog!

Busy weeks had past,and more busy weeks are coming.. so busy and tiring.. but i noe i will get thru it de.. 6 more weeks to go till attachment ends! wee~ Counting down! hehe.

2007-07-14T21:10:00.000+08:00

Up till now, i think these are my busiest days in my life.. I'm so busy with projects!

I miss hanging out with my new found fren..

I miss working in oph..

I miss kbox-ing with my gals..

I miss so many things, but i'm just so busy to find time out.. sadded :(

But, i still glad tt i'm able to find time to watch movies with hui and classmates! wahaha.. Harry potter down ytd, die hard 4.0 down today.. hehe.
Went to frasers service apartment ytd, and after that we went to the cathay for harry potter.. a post celebration of zihui's bdae.. after which we walked to cineleisure's HK cafe for dinner or maybe i should say.. supper. haha. Chit chatted.. and we decide to go kpool instead of kbox.. :( After a few rounds of game, went hm.. reach hm at around 3 plus in the morning.. woke up at 10am this morn and then headed sch for FYP.. Feeling so tired now and i've gt no idea what im blogging..

I guess things had been so much better recently, i hope it will stay like this forever. Its the smile that i wan, for now, this smile worth more than anything else. :)

2007-07-06T23:21:00.000+08:00

Alright, its been a week plus since I've blogged!

I'm so busy with projects for these 2 weeks and I'm gonna continue with all these projects!!! FYP, BRF, BMD.. just these 3 modules are taking up all my weekdays and 1 weekend every week since sch started.. TIRED! :(

I'm suppose to do project now, but couldn't find the software that i need for cutting songs.. sianzzz.. so i came to blog first.. wahahaha. Anybody knows any software that can cut mp3 and wav format? Pls let me know if you know a software like this.. i need it for my FYP.. thanks.

Guess all my other friends are also very busy with their projects.. but u know, at least for some of them, they dun need to work.. i gotta work and do projects.. haiz.. this is just so tiring. I know some of you may say that i can stop working now and resume working after completing my projects, but the truth is.. i can't.. i need to work to earn for my expenses.. friends bdaes are near.. i need to save up for their presents.. so i cant stop working.. :(

THE WEATHER IS FREAKING WARM!! argh... i hate this type of weather.. because u fall sick easily.. damn.. esp for poly students like us.. where u are freaking cold in lecture theaters and once u are out of the lecture, the weather outside is just so freaking warm!

Despite being busy with projects.. i was able to catch transformers on Wednesday! Caught the 2050 show at jp and sat at the 4th row from the front! (see, I'm just so desperate to watch movie..) All i could say is that.. it is an awesome show! robots that jumps like ninjas.. hahaha.. TRANSFORMERS IS A MUST WATCH! Everything is Gd in this show.. the plot, the flow of the show, the characters are awesome, the comedy in it and alot more.. transformer is unexpectedly good.

2007-06-27T12:45:00.000+08:00

Its been some days since i've last blog.. wahaha.. sounds as if i have nt been blogging for a VERY long time.. hmm..

I've been feeling v tired these few days, i've got no idea why i get tired so easily.. this is bad.. i think my illness is making my body to deteoriate.. :(

No mood to blog.. i shall just end here.. too tired to type..

2007-06-23T02:01:00.000+08:00

Alrite, i was trying to do my WISP research now, but end up blogging now. hahaha.. this is bad...

I've gt no idea where to start on my WISP la, what stupid presentation on Sri Lankan Separatist Conflict. Haiz, why muz ngee ann make this module compulsory? bleahx.. i dun like it esp when i've gt no mood in doing this type of research... Argh!!! Can somebody be kind enough to help me?

Today work at oscar oscar, and i look at the station plan, i was the runner for the day, but then, i end up being the cashier instead. I was the cashier coz ainizan who was suppose to be the cashier and runner wasn't in gd mood. I think she quarrelled with her bf, alfian. They weren't talking, the atmosphere was weird.. then in the end, she keep on wearing the gloves and i had no choice but to take over the cashier. I was kinda busy the whole day, i reached there, ad after awhile, mon asked me to prepare stocks for the pushcart coz nicholas wasn't back yet. so i went to prepare everything nicely for nicholas, and when i go back into the shop, it almost the busy period already, where almost everybody is preparing all the things for the peak period and doing some cleaning. So i did abit of cleaning and then its 6.30pm already, customers keep coming in for food and drinks. Sales performance wasn't really very gd as a cashier today, coz i din do much of up-selling today.. was lazy to introduce the products to the customers.. oops. Din really do much during closing, i did most of the washing parts coz i happened to be at the sink and therefore i did most of the washing. hahaha..

I think my english is getting worse! I can't write proper sentences.. damn.. wat the hell is wrong with me! argh.. my language is getting worse.. my mandarin is nt as powerful as last time le.. die die die.. this shows tt i have to talk and write more in both english and mandarin.. oh no....

2007-06-21T23:11:00.000+08:00

20th june
A tiring day.. woke up early, went to cityhall and have lunch with huihui, she so poor thing lunching alone.. so i decided to be nice and acc her to have lunch. Then went hm after tt, tot i can sleep.. but then i din get any.. was busy preparing for ling's birthday celebration at mariott in the evening. So, after tt, have dinner over there, the food nt bad and the bill was reasonable. Headed down to double o.. drank and as usual im the first one to be nt ok.. haha.. but, i really want to say this out.. i really love huihui la, she's such a nice friend, drank, then had a little talk with her. to hui: 'i just wanna say sorry, sorry for being nt understanding in the past, and also sorry for shouting at u last night. Thanks for always being the one who is understanding and the reasonable one.' hui took gd care of me last night when i'm feeling uncomfortable inside O bar, she's a nice friend. I simply regretted to have the thought of giving up this friendship. For now, i'll be treasuring this friendship even more, and i'll try my best to be a better person. :)

21th june
I din had a nice sleep last night, was guilty over things tt had happened. im sorry(yes, is u tt im apologising to). Anyways, slept at 5 plus in the morning, woke up at 10.30 this morning. Went to acc hui to have lunch again. Thought i was able to meet my mei and all, but then she was sick, so in the end, we nv meet up. I went hm to change coz i come tt thing, and then i came out again to wait for hui to end work. Din wan to go hm early today, so hui acc me to have dinner and we chatted. Dinner and chatting session at TCC, long time nv go le.. haha.. i miss the food there. Had a long chat with hui, and i'm glad tt i had this chat with her. I've learnt alot today, i'll try my best in everything i do. thanks hui, u are really a friend tt is worth for me to dote on and treat u nicely. i hope, i won't ill treat u anymore. haha. Headed to raffles city to shop awhile and then headed home. A day spent meaningfully, and i noe its all worthwhile.

2007-06-17T23:34:00.000+08:00

Very reluctant to blog.. coz.. i dunno wat i should blog.. i dunno if i should blog things tt are happy, unhappy or both.. haiz..

cai fen.. u were right.. i need to deicide.. and my decision is this:

"i really dunno wat i should say.. but i noe it v well tt deep dwn in my heart.. i dun wanna give up this friendship.. but.. i guess i should be v da fang, whoever needs u more than i do.. i shall let tt whoever have u.. coz i noe, tt whoever will always be there for u and will understand u more than i do.. tt whoever is better than me.. and my care for u, hopefully it will not get lesser.."

16th june 2007
Wrked at oscar oscar from 12 till closing.. and guess wat? after wrk.. i went to oph to find them! hehe. Then.. we went bowling at kim seng.. it seems like its their every night after work program.. wahaha. I played damn lousy during the tag team match.. argh.. sorry chris.. i brought the whole team down and made u lose a supper treat.. SORRY! and when there's no stress.. i play so much better.. argh.. wat is wrong man.. i tot i always worked well under pressure.. hahaha.. guess i've changed too..

17th june 2007
But then.. it was fun to hang out with oph ppl.. it was nv boring after tt BASTARD was gone.. wahahaha.. tml im working at oph! yea.. wee.. hopefully.. there's no more bowling game with them after wrk tml.. coz i scared mummy will nag at me.. but i think i will wanna join them.. haiz.. talking about mummy.. she so bad la.. she nv give me allowance for today.. and i need the money to go out.. haiz.. so.. in the end.. i paid for the movie ticket only.. the rest.. is paid by hui.. im owing her money again.. argh.. i need my pay.. seriously i need my pay.. i still owe bro money.. and luckily only hui and him.. if nt.. im gonna be in deep shit.. haha.. anyways.. bought ling's present and ordered cake le.. phew.. at least we gt everything done..

One piece is getting nicer.. i love watching one piece! Some ppl ask me why i like to watch one piece so much.. the reason is because i like the bond between their friendship.. the straw hat crew would always go all out to save their own nakama(friend).. i like the way the author had show how much they treasure each other.. they all went thru life and death together.. and they had very happy times but they oso had times tt were so heart breaking(i cried when i saw those heart breaking scenes).. all i can say is tt.. one piece is a anime tt shows friendship and a bunch of idiots who have their own speciality working towards one goal, that is to get the treasure 'one piece' left by the passed away pirate king, gold roger and oso, helping the main character, luffy the captain, to become the pirate king! I JUST LOVE ONE PIECE!

2007-06-15T04:03:00.000+08:00

i got to know something tt i wished i din noe. but i was glad tt u told me.. u made me reflect on this friendship.. whether is it worth it anot.. so u dun feel bad tt u might caused things worse.. ok? coz u are nt the cause of it at all. wateva outcome it will be, its my decision.

So.. i had this conversation with cai fen in the early morning:

Fight to the last.. says:
haahaha
im glad to noe u and huiwen..
u gals made me feel treasure..
treasured*

Honey Stars says:
HAHAHA
you know
friends were never a coincidence in your life
so i gues you aren't one
and that we met for a reason!

Fight to the last.. says:
hahaha
ya..
i agree..
and there sre some fren tt u met them for the reason of getting hurt by them again and again..

Honey Stars says:
haha they are there for a reason too
a reason for you to learn
and experience the different people n life
nothing goes in the way we want what
so yea
bound to have people
it's how we face it

Fight to the last.. says:
ya.. true enough..
but u noe.. sometimes.. it really hurts alot esp when close frens hurt u..

Honey Stars says:
true true.
but when you think about it again
you had your fair share of fun and laughter
good times bad times
went through all
if ther's a day where everything has to come to end
what you have to do is bring on the memories
so yeah
the hurt
maybe it'll heal within time
life always moves on

Fight to the last.. says:
wow..
i din noe u can an wei so well..
hahaha

Honey Stars says:
haha it's not that la
it's lik
like*
i've been through a lot from friendships
i know how things goes
when you meet new poeple in life, when you settle down with a new group
you look back and reflect
of course you will feel like oh what good times i had, how i wish it was back then
but then, by the time you think back, you should look forward as well! cos you've moved on, and you know you're gna be happy, no matter what
haha this is so so important instead of dwelling in the past

END OF CONVERSATION.

Im just glad tt i get to noe cai fen, huiwen, wei ling, yan shan, lijun and zihui. Only until now, then i realise i have so many nice ppl around me.. its really my blessings. they had made me feel s treasured. maybe right now, i dun need a close fren, coz all the little care they add up, is good enough to be wat a close fren should gave me. Though, it is obvious wat im gng thru nw, but i guess.. ive to let it go to end all these sufferings. no point, if im the only one who is sad.. right?

i really wanna thank cai fen to talk me thru, im feeling so much better nw..

2007-06-14T00:37:00.000+08:00

Wat do i wan nw? i dunno..

Wat i need nw? i dunno..

Wateva im doing nw.. is it right? i dunno.. but i hope so..

I need discipline in wateva i am doing now!! argh..

depressed.. i missed 38 sessions with mei mei.. cai fen.. sze ying and shan.. haiz.. i should have worked today.. damn.. but i can't work on sun oso.. damn it la.. i wan kbox with my meimei and all! when is our ladies night coming??? Argh..

Chatted with lia on msn just nw.. hmm.. wondering wat's going on with her life nw.. seems tt she had changed so much.. nt the nice lia i used to noe.. was kinda shock when she sid something.. its so nt like her.. haiz.. she made me think again.. maybe i should just take everyone for granted.. and i wun have problems anymore.. aaaaaahhhhhhh.. maybe i should change to the worse.. and makes everyone hates me..

someone pls help me....

i hope...

2007-06-09T02:20:00.000+08:00

First day @ work in oscar oscar, it was quite fun, coz my colleagues make my day at work fun! These malay colleagues of mine are v nice ppl, they dun make me feel alone during my first day at work. My first task at wrk today was to do the ice cream pushcart at Song of the sea's entrance 1. It wasn't tiring and difficult to sell wall's ice cream.. did a $200+ sales withing 3 hrs.. which i think it was not bad for my first day.. contented. Counting stock isn't a chore but counting coins just makes me confused.. i'm just so afraid that i'll miscount the coins.. but luckily nth like this happened.*phew*

Anyways, ct is over... yea! hopefully i can pass both papers.. tt's all i wish for..

Wrk oph on wed and thurs, guess i'll miss the ppl there, wun be wrking there frequently anymore.. a bit sad ar.. no nonsense-ing with meimei, shan, caifen and sze ying... no disturbing of haidi.. no longer listen to weilong call me shifu.. no more non-stop mumblings frm hector.. no more julian to fight with.. all these made my days at oph so fun after some asshole had left. It was nice working in oph, though i used to hate this place.. haha.. but at least for nw, the manager is nice and the ppl there are nice too.. aww. Let's pray hard tt i'll be able to wrk in any functions within this month.

p.s. ling.. get over it soon ba.. ok? i noe u can do it de. i'm always here if u need a listening ear.. ok? mei mei.. we shall go kbox soon.. ok? i'll try to find time out. hee.

太在乎，太在意，难道这些都做得太过火了吗？现在的我才发现，原来，如此的过渡关心会引起这么多人的误会。原来把自己最重视的朋友排在心里的第一位会惹来别人这样的误解，早知如此，我就不因该如此的重视你，疼你。

可能，我根本就不配做你最好的朋友。。。

2007-06-01T18:16:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. read shan's blog sometime ago.. it make me think.. think about what she wrote in tt entry..

友谊的定义到底是什么呢？友谊需要什么？一颗真诚的心？

一段坚固的友谊，真的需要经历了无数的考验吗？对我而言，就算是经历了无数的考验，朋友之间一点默契也没有，彼此的信任也完全不存在，这段友谊也不一定会坚固。

培养友谊需要一生，但吹毁友谊却只需一秒

好朋友不是什么都可以跟对方说吗？我再也不知道什么是好朋友，好姐妹。以前的我，非常用心的对待朋友，但是现在的我已对这段友谊感到厌倦，再也不知道如何挽回这段曾经是我最珍惜的友情。虽然嘴巴里说着对这段友谊感到厌倦，但我还是非常努力的在把我们之间的距离拉近。

我想找回以前的笑声。。。

2007-05-28T23:34:00.000+08:00

Its been more than 2 weeks that i've not blog, not something suprising.. coz i always do that.. haha..

just some updates of happenings during these 2 weeks that i've been missing in blogging..

basically, its just HAPPY, then QUARRELS, MORE QUARRELS, UNHAPPY and CHANGING..
i hate this.. always like tis, happy awhile, then quarrels, then unhappy, all these makes me feel like giving up on everything.. im getting so tired with everything.. i hate this.. simply hate all these.. all these are just draining my energy off, i might just go crazy one day.. might just *poof*jump off a building someday.. haha.. u think tt is possible for me? ans is NO! im nt tt dumb to commit suicide because of all these dumb unhappiness..

anyways, i caught POC on last wed, i think it was alright only, nt v gd but nt v bad oso.. and b4 i went to for POC at vivo, went to sentosa for interview. Got tt job, wrking in oscar oscar soon, 5.50/hr, i dun mind the pay, coz i get to wrk longer hrs.. starting work after 6/6.. hehe. So, mei mei, if u see this, dun miss me hor, i'll wrk oph lesser nw.. maybe u wun see me at all oso.. but we still can go kbox la.. hehe..

BTW, I'LL BE ON A BLOG HOLIDAY, COMMON TEST WEEK IS NEXT WEEK, AFTER WHICH, MOST LIKELY I'LL BE BUSY WORKING.. SO IF THERE'S ANYTHING, TAG MY BOARD OR SMS ME IF U HAVE MY NUMBER!

i miss.. i wish.. and i fear..

2007-05-17T22:05:00.000+08:00

Hey ppl, what is your definition of close/best friend? How much do u expect from them? and what do u expect from them?

How much do u know about your close/best friend? How much do they know about u?

How will u feel when u ask them who they are going out with, and they just simply tell u this:"Friends, friends that u dunno."? I tot close/best friends are so close that u noe everything about them, eventhough u may not know all their friends, but at least they will nt reply u this way.. right? They will at least tell u that they are friends from work, pri sch, sec sch and etc.. isn't it? and they'll not just reply u in tt way..

How will u feel when ur close/best friend actually tell the other friend in front of u to buy food for them and said:"XX(name of the other friend), help me buy lunch, u noe wat i eat de hor?" While saying this, it seems that they are actually ignoring u.

I feel inferior when i'm hanging out with u, because u made me feel so useless. Made me feel as if i'm like a piece of shit, made me feel that i dun understand u at all. How am i suppose to call myself as a close friend of urs? Maybe, in the first place, i'm nv a good friend. I dun ask for more now, i just want myself to be back like last time, a not hot-tempered huiwen.. there's all i wan to be. Be less emo, or rather i should say that be not emo at all..

I wish..

2007-05-17T12:48:00.000+08:00

DAMN IT! I HATE EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENING NOW!

I hate who i am, cos i feel like i'm just a piece of shit to everybody..

I hate myself for being not a good friend..

I hate my school..

I hate my modules..

I hate U!!

I dislike all these, i just want things to back like last time, like how i used to enjoy school, enjoy work, enjoy life.. There's simply a great distance in between.. and its difficult to draw this distance close anymore.. damn.. and ya.. i just mention to zi hui that i HATE LIM ZI HUI! argh..

i just simply hate myself...

2007-05-15T00:36:00.000+08:00

I'M JUST TOO LAZY TO BLOG!

Probably, i'm not a born blogger, i've got no idea why i started blogging! omg.. this is bad.. isn't it? A blogger doesn't like to blog.. haha..

Anyways, ya, the week has past without my new entry, this is saddening. I'm not very enthu in blogging lately.. i'm not very busy, i have time to go online, slack and chat on msn.. but i just didn't want to update my blog.. hahaha.. i'm just simply L-A-Z-Y!

Alright, enough of crapping about me not blogging lately.. haha..

Let me see, what was done last week..
1. Watched Spider man 3.. nt as gd as expected.. too much of the relationship part.. too draggy..
2. KBox on sat.. finally! haha.. i enjoyed myself.. really enjoyed it though was very disappointed about something b4 tt.. wasn't angry.. but just simply disappointed.. tt's all. However, had so much fun during supper at mac and kbox, joke of the day was julian's teasing about the"sexy mole" haha.
3. Celebrated mother's day on sun.. bro and me bought bird nest for my mum! (it costs 170 bucks.. omg.) Bro intended to get father a new hp on Father's day! omg.. im getting broke again.. damn.. its time to save up man, for father's day present, ling's bdae present and hUi's bdae present.. its gonna cost me a bomb!

Basically, these are the things completed last week.. though not very happening, it was definitely a fun week!

TODAY-14may
Whahaha, first thing i saw in sch was something tt makes zihui so embarassed about it! haha, shall nt mention more.. hehe. I've got no idea why i was hungry when i reached sch nt long. I repeat.. I WAS VERY HUNGRY! so hungry that i ate 6 pieces of oreo and 1 small packet of super ring.. and guess what.. in the end, i wasn't v hungry during lunch time.. so i ate spag. Anyways, slept during hsm lecture, was v tired all of a sudden.. i've got no mood to listen.. lesson continued.. lalalala.. lesson ended! Went to The Cathay to catch Bridge to Therabithia.. wasn't as nice as what was expected.. dinner at long john.. took bus hm.. reach hm.. bath and lalalala.. online.. do preparations for wisp presentation tml.. more wisp things to do.. and here i am.. updating my blog! and i just realised that i didn't do anything about my fyp since last week.. this is bad.. shall start on it soon.. b4 it is too late for me to save myself from rushing through the fyp.. I CANNOT AFFORD TO FAIL FYP! It is time for me to buck up.. should wrk lesser le.. i think?

2007-05-06T03:27:00.000+08:00

Alright, i've finally came to blog.. whahaha.

Its been almost a week or so.. i think.. i din update my blog.. haha.. was busy and oso LAZY to update my blog.. as usual.. sch's work load is kinda heavy lately.. FYP, HSM, IS-WISP.. sigh.. with just these three modules, i can be busy for a whole week already.. and that does not include my time spent at work. omg.. so busy, so tired.. argh. Now i understand why my timetable is kinda slacking timetable, coz the rest of the time, we'll be using it for sch work.. damn it..

Enough of sch wrk already, some new things to be updated!!

I've change my PHONE!! YEA! hehe, w88oi silver is mine now.. whahaha. Happy that i got to change my phone, or rather i should say that i was rather unlucky, coz i went to buy on fri, and guess wat.. there's no more stock! damn it.. Luckily tt person say that stock will be in by sat, so i made my payment and collected my phone on sat! hehe. I'm just so excited about my new phone! hehe.

I wan the bracelet from both tiffany and LV.. omg.. they are just so simple and nice.. i'm loving it.. think i'll just gotta work hard and save up for them. hehe. :)

I can't wait for the arrival of next Saturday, KBOX! finally.. i can go kbox with my mei mei(xhw)& maybe sze ying too! hehe.. any other ppl wanna join us on sat?

Hmm.. I wanna change job.. sad.. the franco frm sentosa din called back as he promised.. haiz.. gotta look for a new job.. money money money is all i can think of.. whahaha. why can't popular in jp just hired one more part timer? argh.. hire me pls.. ($_$)

2007-04-27T23:24:00.000+08:00

Yea! There's no sch for me today! whahaha.. FYP day.. but mr tan say he'll meet us on coming monday.. hahahaha.. woo hoo~ As there's no sch today, i've decided to be guai, told hui to meet up to complete HSM tutorial.. and yes.. we did completed it.. yea!

Anyways, juz came back nt long ago from JP.. haha.. went there with hui.. waited for her to do manicure.. wanted to do de.. but working on tues.. so end up i didn't.. walked around awhile.. i was so tempted to buy the BLEACH game for my psp.. but its 75 bucks.. Didn't buy again.. need to save up for my W880i.. waiting for bro to return me money.. then i can buy phone.. hehe.. so from now on.. i cannot anyhow spent money le.. save Save SAVE!!

things gt better.. i hope.. im happy these few days.. the happiest days since sch had started. thx.. and i believe things will get even better..

2007-04-22T23:37:00.000+08:00

Woo hoo~ I LOVE TO SING K! Enjoyed myself on fri.. haha.. and finally, i get to drink again. Whahaha.. its been months since i've drank.. haha.. this time get to drink and i dun need to pay for it de lo.. so shiok! I'm very guai lo,i din drink alot, i drank a glass of whiskey coke, a glass of red wine(forced by hua jie) and a little bit of champange(moet chandon rose). All i can say is that the whiskey coke made by eugene is very thick.. then champagne nt nice.. i dun like.. red wine.. dun need to say la.. forced to drink.. so its not nice.. bleahx.

After fri nite at noble hse, all i can say is tt i was kinda suprised tt some can sing very well where as some really cannot sing. I expected those who cannot sing to be like average singer.. who knows they turn out to be poor singers.. omg. nvm.. my mei mei(xiao huiwen) sing very well.. and luckily those poor singers nv hog the mike.. whahaha. Something nt very pleasant happened.. shall nt talk about it more. Then went kbox with shan.. sze ying supposed to join us.. but in the end she didn't coz i told her nt to come after she entertained her frens at her pub. At least we sang until very happy.. coz nobody snatch mike from us!! whahaha.. shan.. rite anot..? hehe.

A msg recieved from bibi last night: i woke up crying from a dream, i was shot dead thru d heart, i cried, not bcoz i was afraid to die but bcoz inside that heart is where u always were.. frens4life.
So sweet of her to sent me tt msg.. thanks bibi. at least now i noe tt sometimes u'll still noe tt this fren, huiwen exists.

2007-04-19T23:17:00.000+08:00

Skip lecture today.. oops.. first time i'm so nt guai.. haha.. but nvm.. dun think i'll do it again... but still i went to school, coz meeting ling go out.. so i went to sch to meet her.

headed to town, and then shopped with her for ying hua's present, nearly went to buy the crumpler sling bag.. haha.. but didn't.. waited for bee chin at far east to pick us up for dinner at newton. Seeing bee chin driving, i'm so tempted to get my driving licence and my own car.. how i wish to own a car now. but, its all my own wishful thinking.. i dun even have the money to get my licence, so how is it possible for me to even own a car now.. rite? haha..

Curretly listening to: Hurt-Christina Aguilera

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face

You told me how proud you were, but I walked away

If only I know what I know today

Oh… I will hold you in my arms; I will take the pain away

Thank you for all you’ve done, forgiving your mistakes

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do, to hear your voice again

Sometimes I wanna call you, but I know you won’t be there

Oh I’m sorry for blaming you, for everything I just couldn’t do

And I hate myself, by hurting you

Some days I feel broke inside but I wouldn’t mean

Sometimes I just wanna have cause to has means

It’s so hard to say goodbye when I comes to this

Oh… Would you tell me I was wrong, would you help me understand? Are you looking down upon me, are you proud of who I am.

There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to have just one more chance

To looking to you eyes, and see you looking back

Oh I’m sorry for blaming you, for everything I just couldn’t do

And I hate myself.

Oh if I had just one more day

I will tell you how much that I missed you since you been away

Oh it’s dangerous

It’s so very hard to try turn back time

I’m sorry for blaming you, for everything I just couldn’t do

And I hate myself By hurting you

2007-04-18T15:40:00.000+08:00

Alright, its already been the third day since school started. No happening things since school started, except the the class swapping issue with eileen.. so i'm now no longer in 02, but in 03. This is actually better, coz i prefer to mix with ppl tt i'm more familiar with.

I'm lately in love with sony ericsson phone, w880i and w580i.. both phones are slim and nice, i'm so tempted to get them. haha. Phones are quite ex now, so i've decided to wait awhile more b4 getting a new phone. NT ENOUGH $$$ now.. saddening. :( [ how i wish i can have both phones mentioned above.. haha ]

Ling offered me a job at sentosa, yippee! desperate for part time job now.. haha. anyways.. she say is f&b de.. i dun mind la.. though i dun wish to continue with f&b.. haha.. the pay oso nt as much as i'm earning now.. but i oso dun mind.. coz i need a more stable job compared to banquet. So, hopefully i'll get the job ba. hee.. thanks ling.

2007-04-13T01:43:00.000+08:00

DAMN MY MSN!! Argh!! lousy msn.. it's totally screwed.... sian.. i can't sign in to my msn.. this is so fucking shit.. argh...

I've been trying to sign in since 12am.. until now.. 1.44am.. damn.. and i'm nt in msn still.. shit.. remove the latest version from my lappy, d/l msn 7.5.. and i still can't sign in.. fuck shit.. damn it.. try to use the old kind of msn.. which was already in my lappy.. and guess wat.. i still can't sign in.. DAMN IT! this is shit.. argh.. it is testing my patience.. damn..

SCREWED MSN!! DAMN THE WINDOWS LIVE MESSENGER!! DAMN MSN!! ARGH!

2007-04-08T19:24:00.000+08:00

I'M OFFICIALLY SICK!! Had fever last night after work.. feel so terrible last night.. haiz.. didn't have a good night rest.. :(

I'm now left alone at home.. bro went to work already.. parents went to aunt's hse for mahjong since afternooon. A SICK PERSON AT HOME ALONE.. so sad..

2007-04-07T01:19:00.000+08:00

I've finally come to update my blog.. finally.. its been months.. haha.. lazy me..

holidays are ending soon.. hmm.. nt much of happening during this holis.. no work for me.. sad.. no work = no money.. :(

I've been lazing aroung at hm this holi.. and becoz of my lazing around.. i've addicted to a new anime.. ONE PIECE! alrite.. though its nt very new.. but i'm crazy over it! much more crazy over it than bleach.. ONE PIECE IS A VERY NICE ANIME!! I WANNA BE PART OF THE STRAW HAT CREW (if i could).. I WANNA BE LUFFY'S NAKAMA!!

Alright.. shall stop dreaming.. haha..

Hmm.. have been job hunting online.. but no news from the resumes i've sent.. so saddening.. but i truly wanna change job.. wanna work longer hours and get more pay per month.. anybody have any lobang? hmm..

I wanna fix my lappy.. change new cover.. but need to spent $$$.. still thinking about it.. and still considering whether i wanna buy tt crumpler bag.. though its a bit small compare to my quiksliver.. but there isn't any nice bag pack around.. Need a new jacket too.. quiksilver too thick.. very ma fan to bring around..

I wanna change phone.. at first saw w880i.. love it.. but the key pads too small.. then saw a upcoming phone ytd.. w580i.. looks gd.. the keypad looks comfortable.. and the main thing is tt it is a SLIM sliding phone.. shall wait for it to launch here and consider again..

SO MANY THINGS TO BUY.. but have very LIMITED money.. anybody wanna yang me? haha.. everybody around me is going overseas.. I WANNA GO TRAVELLING TOO!! :(
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

kinda can't wait for sch to reopen.. dunno why.. missed sch days.. at least i have things to do in sch rather than stay at hm and do nth.. diff class from everybody except huihui.. wonder how my new class will be.. haha.. let pray hard tt my class dun have those weird ppl..

2007-01-07T15:40:00.000+08:00

WOAH!! ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE I'VE BLOG!!! OMG!!!!

First, i want to wish everybody a HAPPY NEW YR!! hahaha.. i noe i'm late.. but can't be blame.. its me.. the lazy one.. hahahaha.

Anyways.. i've came to update coz ppl say i only change blogskin.. nv update blog.. hahaha.. u noe u noe.. change skin already very ma fan for me.. still wan me to blog.. aiyo.. cannot la.. lazy la.. hahaha..

A new yr has begun, but nt much of new things is happening.. hmm.. juz want everybody tt i noe to be happier in this new yr.. and more happening things will happen this yr.. muahahaha..

2007-01-07T03:48:00.000+08:00

WOAH!! ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE I'VE BLOG!!! OMG!!!!!

Whahaha.. shan say i only change skin.. then nv update.. hahaha.. i'm LAZY!!! Lalalala..

hee.. actually today oso gt nth to blog.. wwhahaa.. juz now kpo kpo go read other ppl blog.. hehe.. then read shan's blog.. saw wat she blog previously.. hmm.. went to do one of the test.. hehe.. and i'm here to post the result!!

You Are A Loyal Sidekick

While you aren't the most visable one in your group...
You're always up for a good time or conversation
And you stick with your friends no matter what
You may feel underappreciated - but it only seems that way!

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindoffriendareyouquiz/">What Kind of Friend Are You?

2006-10-26T00:38:00.000+08:00

YEAH!! I've finally got my pay!! woohoo!! I'm so happy that steven has finally paid me!!

Yea yea.. can use the money and go buy hUi's present le.. hehe.. wondering wat should i buy for her man.. hmm.. anyways.. now gt money.. so slowly think.. hehe

Once again.. ling is nice to acc me down to humble hse to collect pay.. though she is collecting her 2 days pay oso.. but she's tired and still acc me down.. sorry wor.. make u so tired.. and thanks.. thanks for the treat.. hee. :)

Hmm.. i've been working from last wed till ytd.. work and work and work.. and my money should have alot de.. but was spending at the same time.. hmm.. and at the end of ytd.. i've earn only 100+.. spent almost 100 bucks already.. sobz.. hmm.. but nvm.. hehe.. as long as the money spent makes ppl happy jiu hao le.. hehe. bought royce choco for the staffs at oph ytd.. they all say its nice.. i'm so happy.. hehe.. and bought godiva for my buddies.. hehe.. we all enjoyed the choco.. hehe.. choco can make someone happy when their mood is no good man.. hahaha.. ling eat it when her mood nt good.. i buy choco for ppl to eat when my mood no good.. whahahaha.. choco is a happy food.. hehe.. :)

2006-10-20T14:09:00.000+08:00

Argh!!! School connection sucks!!! wat the hell.. cannot sign in to my msn.. shit man.. so shit.. ARGH.. :(

First week in school sucks too!!! wat the shit man.. ling gt no tutorial.. but me?? wat the hell.. i've gt tutorial started already and with hmwk.. oh shit.. holy shit.. argh..

u've gt no right to gt pissed.. so dun think tt u are big shot over here.. my temper isn't very good either.. so.. u've gt no right to get pissed at all.. i had enough of ur nonsense..

2006-10-17T22:12:00.000+08:00

Woah.. its already the second day since sch started.. hmm.. i've been quite slacking since the first day.. still in the holiday mood.. whahahaha.. I MISS MY HOLIDAYS!! lol.. but i should my 2nd semester oso.. hahahaha..

Hmm.. gonna be busy this week.. haiz.. sian sian sian.. working from tml to next tues.. so many functions.. but nvm.. think of money jiu hao le.. hehe.. gotta save up for hui's present..

Saw a upcoming model.. sony ericsson.. w950i.. so nice.. i want tt phone.. gotta wait for it to be launch in the market and wait for the price to drop to a affordable range first.. hehe.. i'm aiming at tt phone.. yea yea..

I WANT TO GO TCC!!! ling.. when are u going to bring me to tcc?? u working on sat and sun.. then fri nite we oso cannot go.. sobz sobz.. i miss my mocha.. and devil's choco cake..

2006-10-11T02:08:00.000+08:00

Yea Yea.. everything is back to the same.. we are all buddies together again.. hehe. Feel more comfortable with everybody around.. won't be feeling weird anymore!!

Anyways.. have been very very busy recently.. busy with helping thong to sell mooncake.. haha.. and oso busy with preparations for hUi's b'dae celebration.. luckily gt shan to lent me some money first.. if not.. dun think the preparations will be a success.. hehe.. but i return her money le.. yea!!

Hmm.. everybody is busy with their work.. haiz.. so bored at home.. luckily oph have functions these few days.. if nt.. think i'll be bored to death.. haha.. and oso broke to death..

SO nice of ling today and past few days.. been giving me food.. haha.. bought some dim sum from jp for me ytd.. then brought her mum's cooking for me today.. hehe.

Hmm.. self reflection was once again done.. alot of things happened recently oso.. huiwen shall nt be the demanding friend anymore.. huiwen shall let u all do watever u all like.. as long as u all are happy.. huiwen will be fine with it. The main reason of me doing this is that i do not wish to realise the value of friend when i have lose them.. i dun wan anything like this to happen.. say lots of dumb things when i got angry.. haha.. but after tt.. came to realise.. it is nt easy for me to lose anyone of the friends tt i treasure.. so.. I SHALL NOT BE DEMANDING ANYMORE

Time waits for nobody.. treasure every moment that u have. Treasure it even more when u can share it with someone special.

2006-09-18T22:44:00.000+08:00

BloG IS DEAD!!

but i dun care anyways.. dead anot.. nobody actually cares for this blog..

Things aren't alright at all.. i noe it very clearly that it has cross my patience.. i noe it very well that i cannot take it anymore.. i'm on the verge of breaking this friendship.. but.. it is nt easy to do it.. coz u were nice.. very nice and understanding all the way.. until tt day.. i'm angry.. i'm pissed..and i'm disappointed.. and i admit that i call u slut and cheap.. i'm nt feeling good either.. maybe wat u said is right.. we cannot accept the way u do it.. but i noe it very clearly that even if i accepted who u are.. i will nt be that close with u already.. and i dun wish to fake to be close with u.. i dun think u wan it too.. if i'm fake.. i would rather i be nt close with u at all..

In anyways.. i've promised hui that i'll try my best.. but i've to say that it is hard to do it.. i'm trying my best.. coz i noe it very clearly that a seven years plus of friendship is difficult to end.. it maybe easy for u.. i dunno about tt.. but i'm very sure that it is nt easy for me..

THINGS ARE JUST NOT RIGHT.. IF WE DIDN'T WENT TT DAY.. EVERYTHING IS JUZ FINE.. ISN'T IT??

2006-07-24T00:32:00.000+08:00

whahaha.. my blog is DEAD!!! hopefully.. it is gonna be revived soon.. hmm..

anyways.. since school started.. i've been busy with my projects.. projects and more projects.. no time to blog.. and yes.. i must admit that i'm lazy.. hmm.. i'm very glad that everything is fine now.. ya.. everything.. yea!!!

other than rushing for my projects.. i've also been busy with work.. have been working on weekends.. last night's function was shit.. tonight's function wasn't good either.. girls.. i'm sorry for giving black face.. esp to ling ar.. promised u nt to show u girls anymore black face but i broke tt promise.. i didn't want to.. but i hope u all can understand.. everything was in a mess.. and u girls noe that i nv work vip b4.. to me.. at the beginning.. u all onli care for urselfs.. no one told me wat to do.. and i'm nt familiar with all the things.. it may seem easy to u girls.. but it is nt easy for me.. i'm just saying out wat i feel.. no hard feelings.. and ya.. ling.. i juz want to clarify about something.. i didn't show u attitude juz now when u ask wat happened.. i couldn't hear u.. tt's why i said 'wat' to u.. mood wasn't good.. but nv show u attitude.. ya.. i dunno if u gt take it to heart anot.. but i feel that it's my part to clarify this to u..

tt's all i've got to update..

2006-06-21T00:45:00.000+08:00

hahahaha.. my blog is dying!!! Blog.. i'm so sorry to let u die alone down here.. haha.. sorry peeps.. i've been so lazy to update.. hahaha..

Came to update is because ppl have been asking me to update.. haha.. so ya.. i came.. hahahahaha..

hmm.. how have i been for the past few weeks?? i think i'm fine?? haha.. emm.. nt very fine i should say.. but at least nt very bad.. hahaha.. blog blog blog.. dunno wat to blog la.. hahahah

anyways.. wanna wish my ai mei happy birthday!!! hahaha.. i'm onli late in blog.. but nt in wishing her personally hor.. hahaha

went to hospital on mon.. coz ah lao was admitted in to sgh on sun night.. he had internal bleeding due to gastric ulcer.. then headed to town and window shopped with hui and shan b4 meeting our birthday girl!!! haha.. ling met us in town while we're doing manicure.. hahaha.. by the time hui, shan and my nails are done.. its almost time to go to JADE at fullerton hotel for ling's b'dae.. hee.. hui and ling headed to jade first.. while me and shan.. went to esplanade to get her cake from haagen daz.. hahaha.. poor me and shan.. walk to fullerton from esplanade leh.. wah.. though nt very far away la.. but.. nt very near oso leh.. upon reaching jade.. our poor girls was so hungry already la.. aiyo.. so poor thing.. hmm.. dinner at jade was simply fine.. coz its fine dining ma.. haha.. i'm talking crap.. hahaha.. food at jade is simply superb!! hmm.. gals.. where should we go for fine dining on my BIRTHDAY??? haha.. i've got hui's birthday all planned soon le.. hee.. so.. its all of ur turn to plan for mine!!! haha.. anyways.. thanks to steven.. for helping us to settle the menu before hand.. haha.. though he cannot join us for dinner due minister yeo went to my humble house.. he mangaed to join us at lighthouse!!! haha.. ya.. we went to lighthouse at boat quay.. haha.. as usual.. we spent the rest of our time at boat quay.. whahaha.. i'm so honoured to be the first one(i hope) to give ling birthday kiss!!! hee.. hope ling had enjoyed her birthday with bee the next day.. hee.. seriously speaking.. i really did enjoy my day with my girls!! its been such a long time tt i've been so happy with them le.. hee. :)

p.s. ling was so sexy tt day la!! hahaha.. shan and i enjoy 'touching her'.. hahahaha!!!

2006-05-25T23:40:00.000+08:00

first date say tt i need to update my blog.. so.. i came.. haha

anyways.. sch wasn't alright these few days.. i get lots of bullshit.. argh.. and i am tahan-ing.. i'm nt sure when all these bullshits will stop.. i hope it will be real soon.. sch wasn't alright.. things aren't going right at home too.. i'm getting bullshits and nonsense at home too.. wat a life i'm living.. but.. its my life.. i gotta live it..

b4 i came to blog.. i went to read some of my juniors blog.. all of them are in JC now.. glad to see them doing well with their own things now.. i miss them.. i miss the crazy times with them.. i miss the times tt i'm so engaged in cca.. and got onli a little for friends.. those was the times tt i'm friendship troubled-free.. i hate what i have now.. i regretted getting in to this course.. though i've meet good friends.. but i regretted being in the same class as hui.. its nt as good as all of u think.. being in the same class with ur best fren..there are pros and cons.. u sees her practically everyday.. u worked with her.. study with her.. omg.. i dun even noe.. what's the feeling of being missed by a fren.. and missing a fren.. everybody moved on.. but nt me.. i still miss my sec sch times badly.. the main reason being.. i am much more happier tt time compare to now..

i've tried to be a good fren.. tried to give in.. tried to be there for u.. tried to be understanding.. i dun expect returns from u.. but.. why can't u treat me better.. like.. at least care about my feeling?? at least care for me a little more.. is it too much?? i dunno.. u said u i'm ur best buddy.. so is this how u treat ur best buddy?? i'm starting to lose confident in this friendship.. i wish to drift apart from u.. i wish tt i can dun care about u since this is how u are treating me.. i wish tt u could read this entry.. and nt get angry.. but do some reflection.. i reflected on myself too much.. i think its time for u to do some reflection.. if u dun need me anymore.. tell me straight into my face.. and i'll stay away.. coz i noe.. its easy for u to find another new best buddy.. u say tat i dunno wat close friends are for.. is not that i dunno.. i noe wat they are for.. it was u.. it was u who make me think tt u dun need me as ur close fren.. u dun care about me and it was u.. who make me wanna let go and stay away from this friendship.. if u really got to read this entry.. u may feel disappointed.. maybe not.. but.. u juz dunno how much disappointment u had brought me..

this entry is so contradicting to my blog skin.. but i think.. tt's the irony part of friendship..

i just want to be the happy person i am last time.. that's all i'm asking for..

2006-05-21T14:32:00.000+08:00

woke up at 12.21 today.. sleep for about 8hrs onli.. haiz.. think i'll be freaking tired later during work ba.. hmm..

bro is so lazy lo.. he is hungry.. but dun wanna go down buy lunch.. he wanted me to buy lunch for him.. he so asshole la.. haha.. after multiple attempts to ask me help him buy lunch but failed.. finally.. he is willing to go and buy lunch himself.. haha.. coz he cannot tahan le.. he is too hungry le.. haha..

did a little bit of homework just now.. pym and popular culture.. haha.. i had finally become so guai and do my homework.. yeah.. at least there's a little improvement.. haha.. wee~

gotta go work later.. ling nv work.. means i'll miss her.. coz nobody to entertain me.. hui dun really entertain during work.. as for shan ma.. hmm.. we always nt at the same station.. she in malaysia.. me in singapore.. hmm.. bored.. hopefully.. i dun get to partner with cheng liang again.. hope arthur will give me a new partner.. but hopefully.. nt someone who can't work and make me more tired.. pls pray hard for me..

2006-05-21T03:54:00.000+08:00

Its 3.54 now.. and i haven sleep.. think having sleeping disorder again.. hmm.. nono.. maybe its because of depression that causes all this.. lol

worked today.. worked yesterday.. tml working.. work work work.. haiz.. wat a life i'm living.. it is either work or study.. nth else?? i wan to lead my life the way i wan it to be.. but i noe.. i cannot.. esp with my family's financial status.. i gotta work.. and spent lesser.. and save up.. means no more expensive birthday gifts for wei ling.. hui hui and yan shan.. no N80 for me.. no new mp3 for me.. no psp for me.. no new specs for me.. no changing of lappy for me.. maybe by the end year 3.. no hong kong trip for me too.. all these are still not the worst.. the worst is no new watch for me.. sad sad sad.. :(

i'm feeling friendless nowadays.. coz i feel no care from nobody.. all this time.. i'm trying to find a true friend.. and i always thought i found one.. but recently.. i begin to doubt myself.. if i've really found a true friend.. is she really the true friend i'm looking for?? i dunno.. i have no idea.. coz she doesn't seems to care..

wat are friends really for?? they will be there when u need them?? if this is so.. then why?? why i dun have any friends be there for me when i needed them the most.. or maybe i should say.. they are nt the first one to be there when i needed them.. u call this best pals.. best buddies??

wat's the use of me being nice and trying my best to be a good friend.. trying my best to make everyone happy?? and nobody can make me happy?? let me feel that they actually care for me from the bottom of their hearts?? WHY?????????

2006-05-16T21:47:00.000+08:00

Finally came to update.. haha..

Been very busy and tired for the past week.. worked.. went out with jun.. ting and hui.. then work and work and work.. haha.. but.. i'm still broke.. dunno why oso.. haha..

Working tml oso.. argh.. so tired and bored lo.. work work work.. sianzz.. work just for the sake of money.. haiz.. so pathetic..

Haven seen ling for so many days man.. omg.. i'm missing her.. haha.. shan.. just saw u today wor.. so dun say i nv miss u.. ok?? haha..

Hmm.. haven been blogging for past one week.. should have alot of things to write.. but.. it seems like i dunno wat to blog leh.. haha.. hmm..

am i thinking too much again?? hmm.. i'm nt sure.. am i really ur best fren?? i dunno.. i'm starting to doubt myself.. i dunno wat to say.. wat to do.. maybe i'm just not worth to be ur best fren.. maybe i'm just not worth to be anybody's best fren.. maybe.. i should just be frenless and be alone all by myself.. maybe.. i dunno..

2006-05-08T22:06:00.000+08:00

blogged again?? haha.. finally.. hee

i'm bored.. so bored.. hmm.. have been working since during sat and sun.. nt very tiring.. but.. i feel tired.. haiz.. worked just for the sake of money.. felt no passion for work at all.. i see no point in working at all.. haiz.. its just so saddening.. i dun really enjoy work now.. not at all.. this is getting worse.. argh..

hmm.. guess wat.. someone just called my hp.. and asked for somebody called jas.. haha.. but the person was polite enough to say bye bye to me.. haha..

hmm.. till here.. i shall update again..

2006-05-05T22:10:00.000+08:00

Argh.. was late for lesson today.. shit man.. luckily tutor nv mark me absent.. it was all the rain's fault.. it was the rain's that caused the traffic jam.. argh.. wat the hell..

hmm.. read june's blog.. omg.. i lovesd the ipanema sandals tt was on giselle is wearing.. its so nice.. i must get tt.. hee.. it's time to start saving already.. ling' b'dae coming.. might be going for the study trip to genting.. then after that will be hui's b'dae.. then shan's.. then x'mas.. omg.. money is all i need now.. so.. i gotta work work work.. save save save.. and then spent spent spent.. whahaha..

till here.. i shall blog again.. :)

2006-05-04T22:13:00.000+08:00

whahaha.. finally came to update.. hee.. been too busy to blog la.. haha.. too many things to do.. hee..

Hmm.. went to have a haircut at chapter 2.. hee.. changed my parting.. finally.. hee.. whahaha.. hmm.. everybody has been asking me to rebond my hair.. hmm.. should i?? i wanna dye my hair too.. hee.. but.. no money.. muz rebond.. muz dye.. so much $$$ leh.. haha.. i shall save up and rebond first.. alright? dun worry palz.. i'll rebond.. it's juz the matter of time.. haha..

let me see.. anything to update still?? hmm.. think tt's all for today ba.. haha.. shall blog again.. hee.. :)

2006-04-29T03:20:00.000+08:00

Wee~ back from work.. supper.. bath.. and just did a little research on my IS assigment.. hee. :)

Woah.. it's 3:19 now.. so late.. haha.. but still make the effort to update my blog.. haha.. not bad.. there's improvement.. I'm contented.. hee..

hmm.. work was alright today.. haha.. indeed very alright.. because i'm assigned to two tables per person.. so fun.. its been a long time since i worked 1 to 2.. haha.. though i was tired.. but it was alright coz adam was assigned to help my area here.. overall.. work was really alright la.. haha.. coz he in at the other side of ballroom.. hmm.. suprisingly.. he came over to help me clear things at the end.. hee.. so sweet of him.. haha.. wonder if he will do that to the others?? haha..

read shan's and ling's blog.. yeah.. i missed sec sch days.. missed those days that i'm actually nt so close to the class but rather.. to my RC peeps.. hmm.. missed those days in sec 5.. i really see how united that most of us can be.. racial harmony days.. class outing that got those who went so tanned.. i missed the unity in class 5A.. Sec sch times is really the most colorful and wonderful chapter of my life.. get to know all my best buddies in sec sch.. i really missed sec sch.. ;)

2006-04-27T01:21:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. back from jp.. met up with my girls.. had a very short chill out.. but it was fun.. though we didn't talked much.. haha.. it always fun when met up with my girls.. we love taking photos.. esp ling aka ai mei.. haha.. she is so zi lian man.. haha..

anyways.. school started already.. and i already got my first assignment.. haiz.. gotta rush through it.. coz its gonna be handed up by nxt tues.. shit man.. need to work.. need to study.. oh my.. gotta juggle with both again.. hmm.. no choice.. no money means i gotta work.. and i gotta study too.. hmm.. that's what my life is rite?? slogged for money.. just to meet my unlimited wants.. hmm.. without resources(money) to back up my wants.. meant tt there's no demand.. haha.. see!! juz first week and i'm writing crap!! haha.. tt's just one of the theory of marketing.. haa..

I'm so broke now.. the amount in my account is sOo pathetic man.. oh my.. gotta save up.. then i can lots of things.. whahaha.. watches.. watches and more watches.. haha.. how i wish i could be like my lecturer.. she collects tag huer.. omg.. guess she loves tag huer.. she has a few collections of it.. oh my.. i wish that someday.. somehow.. i have lots and lots of nice watches.. rado.. tag huer.. chanel.. piaget.. omega.. and etc.. i wanna collect watches.. haha..

hmm.. this is a short entry.. isn't it?? hmm.. nvm about if its short.. as long as i update.. hee. :)

2006-04-24T21:48:00.001+08:00

wat am i supposed to do?? got no idea at all.. like this cannot.. like that also cannot.. wat should i do then??

wee~ worked yesterday.. yeah.. get to see him.. but.. didn't really talk to him.. hmm.. anyways.. worked with wei long yesterday.. it turn out to be fine.. haha.. but.. was having a terrible headache during work.. took panadol.. and.. guess wat??? knocked my head on to the corner of the ice making machine.. how unlucky i am..

dunno wat to blog right now.. confused mind.. cannot think properly.. shall update again..

2006-04-24T21:48:00.000+08:00

2006-04-22T21:19:00.000+08:00

Whahaha.. back from town.. just finished my dinner.. hee..

Wee~ finally bought a pouch for my mp3.. hee.. yea yea.. its from project shop again.. hee.. i'm loving project shop man.. whahaha..

Headed to town today.. with shan.. haha.. went to heeren.. nothing for me to shop.. no more mambo.. when i actually wanted to look at some things over there.. hahaha.. nvm.. then went to paragon de project shop.. still pondering to buy the card holder anot.. hmm.. then went to crumpler.. haha.. the laptop case is so tempting.. doubt i'll buy it.. hmm.. and went over to this shop that sells paper.. haha.. bought his birthday card from this place.. waited for ling at that shop.. get excited to see all those nice note books.. papers.. organisers.. omg.. so nice.. hee.. so happy that ling actually came to join us.. hee.. because i didn't expect her to join us de.. haha.. then went over to taka.. saw chew ling there.. so excited too.. hee.. then she say i nv change.. haha.. true enough i nv change.. still the same old me.. haha.. the fat girl that don't like to wear skirt.. onli love to wear jeans and t-shirt.. oh ya.. and also with the same old hair style.. hahahahahaha.. but.. i'm still who i am.. hee.. then we walked around taka.. and decided to go mcd.. coz shan is hungry.. hee.. then ying hua came to meet ling.. and they headed off to clarke quay.. to celebrate ying hua's b'dae.. haha.. me and shan.. went to project shop again.. haha.. this time round.. i bought my mp3 pouch.. hee.. :) went to ya kun.. to buy kaya for my mum.. hee.. bought a sliver pen from popular to write his card.. haha.. headed home after that..

On my way home.. saw hong zhi.. haha.. on 154.. shocked to see him there.. and he is shocked to see me.. haha.. he is now teaching swimming at fairway country club.. haha.. then i sms shan.. she was shocked to know that i saw him on 154.. coz he stay in serangoon.. haha.. reached jp.. went to chamelon to buy a small clip for my earphones.. hee.. then went home.. whahaha..

tt's all for now.. gotta head to my toilet.. hee.. *poo poo* *smelly* hee

2006-04-22T11:27:00.000+08:00

Yeah!! I have finally finish the comic le.. whahahaha..

In the comic.. i've encountered with something new.. really something amzing.. bet very very few people would know this blood type called "bombay type". It is a very rare and unique blood type that is first found in bombay.. so rare that even blood banks may not have it's stock. hmm.. when i was reading the comic.. i was wondering if this blood type really exist.. so.. i went to search.. hmm.. guess wat.. it really does exist.. amazing!!

According to wikipedia, it says this " Individuals with the rare Bombay phenotype (hh) do not express substance H on their red blood cells, and therefore do not bind A or B antigens. Instead, they produce antibodies to H substance (which is present on all red cells except those of hh genotype) as well as to both A and B antigens, and are therefore compatible only with other hh donors.
Individuals with Bombay phenotype blood groups can only be transfused with blood from other Bombay phenotype individuals. Given that this condition is very rare to begin with, any person with this blood group who needs an urgent blood transfusion may be simply out of luck, as it would be quite unlikely that any blood bank would have any in stock. Those anticipating the need for blood transfusion (e.g. in scheduled surgery) may bank blood for their own use (i.e. an autologous blood donation) but this option is not available in cases of accidental injury.
Patients who test as type O may have the Bombay phenotype if they have inherited two recessive alleles of the H gene, (their blood group is Oh and their genotype is "hh"), and so do not produce the "H" carbohydrate that is the precursor to the "A" and "B" antigens. It then no longer matters whether the A or B enzymes are present or not, as no A or B antigen can be produced since the precursor antigen is not present.
Despite the designation O, Oh negative is not a sub-group of any other group, not even O negative or O positive. When this blood group was first encountered, it was found not to be of either group A or B and so was thought to be of group O. But on further testing, it did not match even for O negative or O positive because of the absence of antigen 'H'. The H antigen is a precursor to the A and B antigens. For instance, the B allele must be present to produce the B enzyme that modifies the H antigen to become the B antigen. It is the same for the A allele. However, if only recessive alleles for the H antigen are inherited (hh), as in the case above, the H antigen will not be produced. Subsequently, the A and B antigens also will not be produced. The result is an O phenotype by default since a lack of A and B antigens is the O type. The blood phenotype was first discovered in Bombay, now known as Mumbai, in India."

So i urge the people out there that are of age above 18.. please donate blood.. u may not know.. the blood u donated can save how many lives.. and maybe even urself.. donate blood and save lives.

2006-04-21T22:32:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. went to work today.. stationed at b section.. hmm.. suprisingly.. work was alright though i was busy.. hee.. think i've improved ba.. hahaha..

Anyways.. went to the comic shop at gek poh there yesterday.. intended to buy xiao xin's comic.. but didn't have the one i want.. haha.. then i saw this comic.. jin tian yi.. yeah!!!! It's back man.. but its is no longer a series.. is just one story.. but at least.. i get to read it ya.. hee.. so nice.. its been such a long time since i have seriously read a comic that is like kindaiichi.. sooo nice.. hahaha.. anyways.. feel so great reading in it.. hahaha..

ooooo.. tomolo is ying hua b'dae.. hee.. happy birhtday ya.. hee..

thinks tt's all for now ya.. hahaha.. bro using soon.. maybe blog later.. or maybe tml.. hahaha..

2006-04-20T22:41:00.000+08:00

Wee~ here to blog again.. whahaha.. been working lately..

Last week of school vacation already.. hmm.. but its really a busy week.. work and work and work.. but nv get to see him.. haiz.. because.. nv work there ma.. haha.. anyways.. i feeling very tired man.. so tired.. haiz..

hee.. had a nice chat with ling at TCC last night.. think through alot of things.. understand alot of things.. hmm.. thanks gal.. thanks ling.. hehe

i'm now so broke.. just bought a new pencil case.. yeah!! its from project shop.. hehe.. loving it.. whahaha.. i love project shop things man.. hehe..

Listening to superwoman by cao ge lately.. and i'm loving that song.. hehe.. "early in the morning, i put breakfast at your table.... lalalala.. 'chorus' an jing de zai shen bian, wu tiao jian gei wo, meng mei yi qiu de wen ruo.. lalalala" wee~ its a nice song.. hehe

2006-04-17T23:24:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling a little tired now.. hee.. however.. i still want to update my blog.. if not.. people will say me lazy.. haha..

Met up with ling and shan for breakfast at delifrance.. hee.. food was nt bad.. quite alright.. had quite a nice chat over there.. haha.. and were talking about our saving plans for hong kong in nxt 2 years time.. haha.. one word for the breakfast session today --> FUN!!

Then went to work after that.. took a cab over.. because i was running late... haha.. and.. work was alright.. stationed at D section.. not much guests today.. and in the end.. worked for 3 hours only.. which means i didn't earn much today.. shrucks..

Went over to jp after.. visit winnie at popular.. was way too bored.. as she was too busy to entertain me.. so i called yan shan.. and ask her to come jp.. haha.. and she did.. hehe.. and we 'worked' for winnie.. that a**hol*.. haha.. so we were almost an hour free labour for popular.. haha.. then went walk around with shan.. chatted.. me as usual.. grumbled.. haha.. quite a nice chatting session.. cool~ get to know alot of things that i wasn't aware of.. hmm.. i used to be such a good listener.. and good at giving advice.. but today.. i was lost for words.. dunno what to advice.. maybe is because i had too much of my own problems and troubles ba.. shan.. sorry ar.. today onli like make u listen to my grumbles.. and not able to give u any advise.. hope u understand..

Was very nt happy after the call today.. but.. when i reached home.. i still send my blessings and words of care to her.. and she replied.. "ok.. tks.. take care too." was quite disappointed la.. the sms i send her so long.. then the reply was only like so short.. and nt appreciated.. so i replied her "ur reply only like tt ar? sobz.. no qing qing.. no hug hug.. sobz sobz.. anyways.. i reach home le." i send tt without hoping that she would reply.. but in the end she did reply.. feel happy.. but.. nt sure if its from the bottom of her heart.. haha.. nvm about tt.. as long as she reply.. (anyways.. i'm here talking about my best buddy ya.. those who dunno.. pls dun get a wrong idea.. haha.) will nt be seeing her till this coming sun.. hope everything will fine for her over there.. and hope she really enjoy herself.. hehe.. confirm will miss her like crazy.. so many days man.. think she wun really miss me ya.. she have her ai ai with her.. hmm.. nvm.. i miss her can liao.. haha..

2006-04-17T01:20:00.000+08:00

Just logged off msn.. now watching cartoon.. hee.. story of mcdull.. hee.. always wanted to watch that cartoon.. hee..

Went to Pasir ris.. my aunt's house is there.. went there for only one reason.. mahjong!! haha.. Parents meeting my aunts for mahjong session.. Played with my little nephew.. he is SO cute.. i mean adorable.. hee.. Guess today is his unlucky day.. so poor thing.. his head got bumped on the floor.. by his brother.. on the corner of the table and by my cousin in law.. cried so many times.. poor baby.. Guess he his sleeping soundly now at home.. haha..

Eversince the day that i promised myself to be good.. promised myself to treasure my best buddy.. i'm happier in some ways and unhappier in some other ways.. and i am always doing some self reflection.. but sometimes.. all i am asking for is just a simple reply from you.. but most of the time.. you never did.. you no longer treat me the way you used to.. i believe you've changed.. and i know very well that he is much more improtant to you than me.. i've accpeted all these facts.. i know i can no longer demand things from you.. i remember you saying that you never know why i like to compare.. compare things with the past. Yes.. i like to compare.. but you don't expect me to compare things with the future.. and i don't understand.. why can't you treat me the same like last time.. i feel so much closer to you compare to now.. i've become so polite to you.. you like that?? Do you still feel close to me?? Now.. i'm just like the other closer friends to you.. that's not how you treat me last time.. till now.. i still dote on you so much.. and i believe.. none of the other friends treats you this way.. things changed.. you've changed.. i've changed.. think you wouldn't feel sad if lose me.. have no idea what you are thinking.. and also no idea what the hell am i thinking.. you mean so much to me.. but.. do i mean as much to you?? have no idea.. no idea at all.. i know you never like to read blogs.. that's why i'm writing it here.. so u won't read it.. however.. guess this will soon become an email to be sent to you.. promised u so many things.. but i only managed to fulfil some.. anyways.. i pray to god that you will have a safe journey.. bon voyage.. will miss u alot because i will only get to see you on this coming sunday..

2006-04-15T12:32:00.000+08:00

Haha.. just woke an hour ago.. now still feeling a little sleepy.. and think a little hangover ba.. haha..

Worked at oph last night.. first function for this month.. ballroom was revamp-ed.. quite alright i think.. white with mirrors.. hmm.. but i still prefer the older design of the ballroom.. hee.. anyways.. partner with edison.. work was alright.. then after that few of us went clarke quay.. the few of us include me, ling, shan, hui, arthur, shawn, peng seng, eugene, and 1 or 2 oph staff that i dunno.. cannot remember clearly.. haha. Went to this bar called Geographer.. opened a bottle of chivas.. with mixers.. soda and green tea. Didn't drink alot yesterday.. i mean i always don't drink alot compared to hui and ling la.. haha.. but had a giddy sensation in the end.. so went home with hui and arthur.. coz he was tired.. so they are leaving early.. and since i'm like a little drunk.. and the rest of them will stay there till 5 like tt.. so i decided to leave with hui and arthur.

Haha.. feel quite happy to drink with him.. but he is such a heavy smoker.. omg.. he is smoking and smoking almost the whole night. Then ling and hui wanted to test if i'm drunk.. haha.. and ask me some question.. i dunno wat ans they are expecting.. but.. even if they ask me the qns now.. my ans will still be the same.. to me.. Friends always comes first.. and i really mean always.. so ling and hui.. dun doubt my ans.. oki? hee.

So after yesterday drinking session.. i realised.. i dun like alcohol.. and as for the cravings for alcohol last time.. think it is because of things that happened during that period ba (ling should noe wat things i'm refering to ba..) haha..

2006-04-14T01:08:00.000+08:00

whahaha.. today meet up with my girls (loy and cheng..) .. oops.. cheng isn't a girl.. haha.. is a guy... whahaha... watched inside man.. quite a nice show.. but like wat cheng say.. too much vulgarities being censored.. but.. its a nice show.. hee.. then went to pizza hut to have dinner and have a nice chat.. updated each other lives.. and had a fun time making fun of loy.. haha.. we shopped around at jp.. saw watches.. oooo.. saw another dkny watch.. so nice man.. hehe.. i like it.. haha.. but cheng say it doesn't suit me.. hmm.. nvm.. i'll compare and decide which to get.. hehe.. and then saw a pair of couple watch at time club.. raymond weil.. soooo classic and soooo nice.. love it.. but its ex.. haha.. 700+ for one.. omg.. i'm nt going to afford tt man.. haha.. but.. i still like rado watches the best.. whahaha.

Oh ya.. and i manage to upload my baby photo and pri sch time photo.. looking at those photos.. i realise that time really flies.. memories flow thru my mind like a flashback.. still remember those times tt my bro bring me for dinner and then bring me to tuition every friday.. so sweet of him.. and all the neighbours say tt we are very obedient.. i think tt's how the bond between me and him being built up.. bro owaes dote on me.. juz tt sometimes i take him for granted.. since pri sch till sec sch.. he alwaes helps me with my sch work.. i really loved talikng to him.. listen to his experiences.. things he had encountered.. and the wrong choices he had made.. he alwaes wanted me to learn from his mistakes.. haha.. sound as if my bro is a convict like.. haha.. no la.. he's a good guy..

Talking about my bro.. i should really thank him man.. thank him for helping me to choose JSS as my first choice of sch tt time.. if not.. i wouldn't have know great friends over there.. like ling and my BB, hui.. hehe. wah.. known them for 7 years already.. and its still counting wor.. haha.. was chatting with ling about this juz now.. and i told her.. this friendship is nv ending.. the onli end will come.. will onli be death.. but it onli seperate us physically.. coz we noe.. we live in each other's heart.. haha.. to think i was able to say those things.. haha.. chatted with ling about some other things oso.. hmm.. had quite alot of things to think about.. but.. nvm about tt first.. hehe

Its not our fault to be fake at times.. it is because everybody has a thorn in their heart.. don't tell me that you don't feel weird when you sees us.. don't tell me that you aren't faking yourself too.. you know it very well.. i don't know if you are faking anot.. i'm not sure.. but i'm telling u that it is because.. we all have thorns in our heart.. everytime when there's a problem.. none of us clear it up.. and i mean none of us.. including me.. so what if we feel OK with each other after some times.. not any of the problems we had with each other was solved.. you cannot blame us for being fake at time.. i'm already trying to treat u very nicely.. i know.. i can don't treat you nice.. but i chose to treat u nice.. that's because.. we are friends.. though nt very good friend like me and hui.. but we friends.. all i want is to leave happy memories with each other.. that's all i want.. but.. it seems like we are not able to that.. because we have thorns in our heart.. we bear grudges though they are the minor ones.. and that's the reason for us to be fake and have the wrong idea of one another's intention.. you should actually feel lucky that i'm being nice here.. if you are hui.. i would have quarrell with you all these while.. think about it.. if you feel that we don't treat you nicely.. then you are wrong.. i treat u nice enough already.. and i believe the two of them have also treat you nice enough.. don't always think that we are close to you when we need you.. you are so wrong to think that way.. so wrong.. we all have good intentions.. is just that we don't do it the way that you want it to be.. and we will not do it the way that you want it to be.. because.. you don't do it the way that we want.. you always do it the wrong way.. always.. i'm gonna change this para's font colour to green.. and i hope you know you are the one that i'm refering to.. and not anybody else..

2006-04-10T22:58:00.000+08:00

wee~ finally back from malaysia le.. hee :) Finally got to see my little nieces and nephews.. they are so cute and so lovely!! Had been eating and sleeping over there man.. haha.. so lazy of me.. but.. its been such a long time since i've sleep and eat le.. haha.. its really a total relax over.. and oso manage to do some self reflection.. so peaceful over there.. though my little nephews and nieces are noisy.. haha. Hmm.. 3 words to summarise my trip there.. Fun, Peaceful and Lazy!!

Had so much fun on thurs.. dinner at humble hse.. it was so nice and so fun.. wee~ Though it cost $70 per person.. but its all worth it.. coz is having dinner with my girls(hUi and ling) and bee chin.. humble house has such nice ambience for having dinner there though its a little too dark.. haha.. such a nice place.. took so many photos over there (view them at ling's blog.. hehe).. the food is nice.. the wine i brought there oso nice.. plus another two bottles of wine treated by steven.. woah!! alll i can say is tt.. ITS SUCH A GREAT DINNER!! wee~

2006-04-06T00:37:00.000+08:00

Today was such a boring day at home.. haiz..

Stayed at home thru out the whole day.. was to lazy to buy lunch oso.. haha.. in the end.. didn't take my lunch..

Life's boring.. when there's no work.. coz no work means no money.. no money means gotta stay at home and rot.. staying at home and do nth means boring.. haiz..

Meet up with hUi yesterday to do our IS enrollment together.. and helped zi hui do her's too.. went to pioneer mall mcd coz onli there have internet connection.. dunno wad's up with jp mcd's wireless connection.. argh.. dun like jp mcd when it comes to i need to use my lappy over there.. argh. Then went back to jp again.. coz hUi need to collect her thing and i gotta pay my bills.. after settling everything.. hUi and i went to coffee bean coz we needed a place to sit down and discuss about this coming thurs' trip to humble hse.. Talking about humble hse.. was looking forward to it.. but.. went thru quite a number of troubles (due to some unwillingness of somebody).. still i will still look forward to tml's trip to humble hse for dinner.. yeah!!

After settling the humble hse thing.. had a nice chat with hUi at coffee bean.. i love chatting with her.. coz we can talk about everything.. nothing is hidden.. be it if it's something unhappy or happy.. i am able to share it with her.. coz her mouth is tight.. and oso becuase she's my close friend. If.. i am given a chance to choose someone to be the my true friend for a lifetime.. tt person would definitely be her.. coz we went thru alot of things together. hehe.. seriously speaking.. i feel very fortunate that i actually have hUi as my close fren.. and i'm gonna treasure her.. give her the best of everything tt i can.. and try my very very best to be a very good friend.

to hUi: thanks for being a great fren.. and i enjoyed every second tt i spent with u.. thanks lots.. muacks.

2006-03-30T13:39:00.000+08:00

Damn!! gonna be jobless for 2 weeks from now.. argh.. no job = no money.. Damn..

Since i'm gonna be jobless.. means that i'm gonna be very very free for this two weeks.. except from 7th of april to 11th of april.. will be going to malaysia.. its like finally i'm going to malaysia.. feel so happy.. because.. its been years since i went to malaysia.. whahaha.. so fun.. can get to see my cousins and all my little nieces and nephews.. yeah!! :)

Great.. now i'm like june.. having sleeping disorder too.. argh. Not able to get to sleep in the late night.. no matter how tired i am.. i am energetic in the night.. and get tired in the day.. haiz.. wt am i gonna do..???

2006-03-26T03:03:00.000+08:00

Just came back from work and supper.. haha..

Been reaching home late for the past few weeks.. esp when there's work.. haha.. tt's because we've been going for supper after work.. whahaha.

Had quite a boring past time for this week.. nth interesting happened.. haha..

again.. told her how i felt recently.. and i've been exceptionally good recently.. coz someone said to me tt i'm nt a good fren.. esp to her.. and i think back.. i realise.. i wasn't a good fren. A good fren should be understanding and should nv be demanding.. i demanded too much from her.. and had nv tried to understand her.. but at least tt's what i'm trying to do now.. hopes she can sees the change..

i'm quite glad that i'm closer to another fren of mine now.. but i hope that being close to her won't affect the bond between me and her.. haha.. sounds confusing?? nvm about that.. get confused if u want to.. haha..

but no matter wat.. u will alwaes be my first priority..

to those who read my blog.. and have read this entry.. pls tag me and ans this qn.. pls..

the Qn is.. 'what makes a friendship to be long lasting?'

2006-03-23T20:38:00.000+08:00

Went to acer on tues to service my lappy.. did recovery to my lappy.. haha.. and guess wat??? all my programmes were gone after the recovery!!! Argh.. forget to move them to my D drive.. onli remember to move my documents.. argh..

Then went to sch ytd.. to install my programmes.. coz my bro need to use the mircosoft office.. he so asshole.. haha.. luckily.. ling went to sch with me.. yeah!! and headed town after tt.. was planning to buy earrings for hUi.. then went to far east.. but the beads passion have alot nice designs tt are in pink.. haiz.. but luckily.. the person help me do another pair tt is in violet.. collecting it on sat.. yeah!! hope hUi will like it.. shan joined us at around 8 plus at paragon.. hmm.. most likely i'll be buying the crumpler small sling bag ba.. haha.. had fun ytd.. coz its been a long time since i really shopped at orchard.

hUi.. when can u actually acc me to town and shop? we always meet up but hang around in jp.. its been a long time since i really go out shopping with u le.. i really missed those days.. sobz.. maybe things are changing between u and me ba.. tt's why u hardly find time to go out with me.. i feel tt we are drifting apart again.. and i am getting closer to ling.. isn't it?

2006-03-20T23:55:00.000+08:00

Whahaha.. finally i've came to update le.. hee :)

Wow.. was quite busy last few weeks ar.. so didn't came to update.. but the main reason is because.. I WAS LAZY!! haha

Anyways.. went out with my girls to meet jia hui and xiu fen on last fri.. wow.. so long nv see her le.. she still soO pretty.. hehe. had so much fun with her and xiu fen.. though they were talking about all the oph staffs tt i dunno.. but.. the gathering was fun.. hehe.. next time we should meet up and go humble hse eat.. ok? hehe

Then went supper with ling and shan on sat.. chat until 3+ .. omg.. so 'early' lo.. haha.. chat till mummy call and scold me.. hehe.. but really have alot to say ma.. our conversation are like never ending.. hehe. ;)

On sun.. so sad.. went home alone.. sobz.. coz bb going for supper.. then ling meeting her fren.. then took cab home.. so broke le lo.. haiz.. :(

On both sat and sun.. work was alrite.. coz.. we get to choose our own partner.. haha.. partner with shawn on sat.. hehe.. so shiok.. i no need clear the rubbish lo.. hehe.. everything he carry.. whahaha.. then i nv really top up my drinks.. basically he did everything.. haha. Then on sun.. partner with hao.. haha.. we both so tired lo.. then so nt ourselves lo.. nt fast at all.. haha.. but work was alright with both hao and shawn.

Then today went to watch nanny mcphee with seow.. hehe.. the show was quite funny.. haha.. laugh all the way today man.. thanks seow for treating me eat mos.. coz i broke le.. hehe. Then after the movie.. went to meet wei xin, say hoon and zhen yan.. hee.. so fun!! wei xin is getting lamer and lamer man.. she really can talk non stop sia.. powerful.. hehe. and we had a good laugh with her man.. laugh till our mouth damn tired sia.. haha.. we should have more of this gathering man.. hehe.. so fun.. so happy!! :) really had a great time today man. thanks all!!

Basically this whole week was quite a fun week.. met up with ppl tt i didn't see them for such long time.. i'm glad tt everybody is leading a happy lives of themselves.

as long as u are happy.. i will be happy too!! :)

2006-03-05T01:01:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. Study week and Exams week are finally over!! YEAH!
Let's pray hard tt i pass all my modules this sem.. hee.. :)

Went for National Footdrill Competition.. Was not very happy with the results.. Disappointed.. but i know that they deserve the 1st runner up for west district.. hmm.. They have made a history in JSSRCY.. by not attaining the champion!! haiz..

But i was not very sad.. and still have the mood to joke with bibi they all.. haha.. then we headed to town for lunch and did some window shopping. Whahaha.. took so much photos seh.. so fun.. it was really very fun.. haha. Its been such a long time i had so much fun with my dearest juniors.. haha.. all of them are my favourite juniors seh.. hehe. Hope tt we can gatherings like more often to keep the bond.. hee.. ;)

All i can say is that.. my juniors who are oso my friends (lia's badge) are very fun ppl and i love them all!!

2006-02-22T17:35:00.000+08:00

Study week = Boring week.

Haiz.. Didn't get to study again today.. shit man. Who to blame? me myself and i.. haha. Nv get to concentrate whenever i'm studying at home. Either go online or watch tv or both together. haha. HOW??!! cannot concentrate.. die la.. exams coming.. somebody save me!!

Hmm.. Tomorrow is thursday already.. cannot.. must really start studying le.. if not.. i will not be able to promote to year 2.. must really try to concentrate.. hehe.

This few days had quite nice chatting session with ling.. hee.. thanks wor.. learn quite alot from you. At least now i can understand my best friend more. hehe. No matter what happens.. will try to stay happy and cheerful de. hee.. :)

2006-02-21T01:34:00.000+08:00

Yong Heng Guo Du

Just in case u all dunno.. my blog's name is called Yong Heng Guo Du..

For those who had watched My date with Vampire III, of coz u all will noe wat does

Yong Heng Guo Du means.

For those tt didn't watched.. juz to let u all noe tt in the show.. Yong Heng Guo Du means tt its a place without tears, sadness, hatred, worries but only happiness. To be able to stay in that place, a person muz give up love, so that everybody there will have most pure relationship and it brings only joy and happiness.

However, tt's wat the show says about Yong Heng Guo Du. To me, what i am having now is enough to built up my Yong Heng Guo Du. I treasure what i have now though sometimes i feel sad and also get worried about them. Its all the emotional struggles that i have went thru made what i am today.. to be a more emotional person.. haha. In my yong heng guo du, its a place with tears, sadness, worries, happiness but no hatred. Coz i feel that U cannot hate a person for a life time.. isn't it? Of coz my yong heng guo du will be the place that is filled with happiness most of the time.

Life maybe meaningless, boring but life can nv be miserable and empty. If a person feel that life is miserable.. empty.. I can onli say that the person does not noe how to treasure every single thing tt happened in his or her life. Life can nv be miserable and empty because nobody leads an empty life. Everybody have friends with them.. is juz tt does the person noes exactly who are the ones that really cared for them? People may feel that they are always the one giving in.. but if u think back.. do u actually noe that there are other ppl also giving to u? I used to be one of them who thinks tt i am onli the one tt give in.. but the truth turned out to be the opposite.. its was actually my close fren who are always giving in to me.. though i was unreasonable. When i noe this.. i changed.. coz i knew how upset she was when i give her attitude.. so i changed to a better person.. tt's why i always says.. u are the one that made me who i am today.. thanks Bb.

So when u think tt u are the only one trying to be understanding.. trying to listen to others' problems.. u should try not to think this way. Coz u may not noe that actually those ppl who tell u problems.. may oso want to noe ur problems and when u tell them ur problems.. pls make sure tt is really something tt bothers u.. and not juz complaints. When others give u a chance to let u noe tt they are actually there for u.. grab it.. dun lose it.

2006-02-15T21:57:00.000+08:00

Today went town with zi hui to acc her to buy the adidas watch.. and also shopped for hui's present.. then bought her a jacket from project shop.. nt very ex la.. but.. juz feel tt she will not like the jacket.. haiz.. nvm.. she like it anot tt's up to her ba.. but hope she will like it.. aiya.. dunno la.. sianz.. the day was quite alright la.. juz tt coughed all the way in town.. haiz.. and first time see zi hui so emotional.. omg.. luckily she's fine now.. haha..

Now feeling abit sad.. coz was wondering why sometimes she dun care about me de.. haiz.. when she sick.. i will sms her and ask her how she is and all.. everytime when i'm sick.. i was the one to sms her and tell her how i'm feeling.. juz dun understand why she's like this.. haiz.. sad.. sad.. sad.. is all i can say..

I juz dun unerstand why some ppl can give in so much to others when the others dun really give in so much to them.. haiz.. guess i'm juz one them.. shit man.. this is so shit.. sometimes.. think of wat she said to me.. i will feel that i'm wrong about her sometimes.. but when things like when i'm sick and all happen.. i will think differently.. now mood not very good.. haiz.. feel like drinking.. sobz sobz.

Human are juz creatures that love to contradict themselves.. aren't them? do u agree with me?

I'm juz glad that the quarrells i had with her already reduced alot le.. not having moodswing now.. juz feel sad..

Anyways.. no matter how sad i'm feeling now.. i should juz try to stay happy.. coz i've promised ling to be happy.. hehe.

2006-02-14T21:53:00.000+08:00

Whahaha, i've finally came to update my blog.. omg.. its been so long since i've updated.. whahaha.

Anyways.. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

Coz today is valentine's day.. and my bb is not free.. tt's why i'm so free to update my blog... whahaha.

Shit man.. exams are coming.. and i'm still clueless with all my studies.. haiz.. i'm in deep shit.

its been so long since i've updated my blog.. and actually i am very happy for the past weeks.. hehe.. and i'm making my bb happy.. and i have no moodswings le.. yeah!!

i've got lots to say.. but hor.. i dunno how to say.. and oso i'm feeling sick now.. i shall go rest.. and update some other time.. haha.. buaiz!!

2006-01-23T20:02:00.000+08:00

LET ME DIE

are we at war tonight
will there be angels whispering to me goodnight
don't wake when the lightning strikes
my heart for you is true l
et no one take that from you
time is running tight
can't change from wrong to right
So i'll close my eyes and dream a little
Just like how we used to be baby
It's time to say fare-well
No need to cry or feeling sorrow
It's alright , all in the book of life
heaven grant me one last wish i beg you
Let me say these words before i go
I will love you till the end of time with every breath of mine,
i'llhold you by my side but i'll rest in peace,
my sweet heart would you
Let me die in your arms with you
only you can stop the rain tonight
only you can change my would from black to white
So i'll close my eyes and dream more
are we at war tonight
will there be angels whispering to me goodnight
don't wake when the lightning strikes
heaven grant me one last wish i beg you
Let me say these words before i go
I will love you till the end of time
with every breath of mine, i'llhold you by my side
but i'll rest in peace, my sweet heart
would you Let me die in your arms with you
only you can stop the rain tonight
only you can give me strength to fight
till the sky is burning , it's the end of time
look ahead tomorrow, a long and winding road
keep the faith of mine don't let it go
you're the only reason night ain't growing cold
what will i do , without you
I will love you till the end of time with every breath of mine,
i'llhold you by my side
but i'll rest in peace.my sweet heart
would you let me die in your arms with you
only you can stop the rain tonight
only you can make my world so bright,
life, no longer empty, with you in my heart , in my heart

2005-12-24T12:10:00.000+08:00

Yeah.. now no more moodswing de me le.. whahaha.. i'm now back to who i am last time le.. hee.

Been quite happy these few days.. had a nice chilling out session with ling and hui on wed.. updated each other's life.. and realised tt my life isn't interesting at all.. haha..

Been working these few days.. then yesterday was staring at the candle in the center piece.. hmm.. and realised tt everything will come to an end.. be it bad or good.. am i really rite? hmm.. have no idea.

now i've learnt to take things easily.. not take things too hard.. if not it will complicate things de.. rite? haha.

2005-12-19T00:05:00.000+08:00

It's my life.. yeah.. indeed it is.. (^_^)

This few days i've learnt something new, may not be very new for the others for its really new for me.. i swear.

Things will nv go the way u wan it to be.. u'll have to fight and work hard to make them the way u wan it to be.. no pain no gain.

To give trust and have faith in ur fren is the most important thing in friendship.. do u agree?? i agree with it.. coz i've learnt that without trust and faith.. there will be lots of misunderstanding between u and ur fren.. without this, maybe i will not be who i am today.. really have to thank the person who said this to me.. fizah.. thanks alot.

So.. whoever is reading this blog this entry.. remember to have trust and faith in ur fren.. esp the fren tat is important and close to u.

This shall be the new beginning of my blog.. new entry.. new things and new experiences.. hehe.. i promise.. only will have happy things.. no more sad sad de entries le.. :)