Its been some days since i've last blog.. wahaha.. sounds as if i have nt been blogging for a VERY long time.. hmm..

I've been feeling v tired these few days, i've got no idea why i get tired so easily.. this is bad.. i think my illness is making my body to deteoriate.. :(

No mood to blog.. i shall just end here.. too tired to type..

Alrite, i was trying to do my WISP research now, but end up blogging now. hahaha.. this is bad...

I've gt no idea where to start on my WISP la, what stupid presentation on Sri Lankan Separatist Conflict. Haiz, why muz ngee ann make this module compulsory? bleahx.. i dun like it esp when i've gt no mood in doing this type of research... Argh!!! Can somebody be kind enough to help me?

Today work at oscar oscar, and i look at the station plan, i was the runner for the day, but then, i end up being the cashier instead. I was the cashier coz ainizan who was suppose to be the cashier and runner wasn't in gd mood. I think she quarrelled with her bf, alfian. They weren't talking, the atmosphere was weird.. then in the end, she keep on wearing the gloves and i had no choice but to take over the cashier. I was kinda busy the whole day, i reached there, ad after awhile, mon asked me to prepare stocks for the pushcart coz nicholas wasn't back yet. so i went to prepare everything nicely for nicholas, and when i go back into the shop, it almost the busy period already, where almost everybody is preparing all the things for the peak period and doing some cleaning. So i did abit of cleaning and then its 6.30pm already, customers keep coming in for food and drinks. Sales performance wasn't really very gd as a cashier today, coz i din do much of up-selling today.. was lazy to introduce the products to the customers.. oops. Din really do much during closing, i did most of the washing parts coz i happened to be at the sink and therefore i did most of the washing. hahaha..

I think my english is getting worse! I can't write proper sentences.. damn.. wat the hell is wrong with me! argh.. my language is getting worse.. my mandarin is nt as powerful as last time le.. die die die.. this shows tt i have to talk and write more in both english and mandarin.. oh no....

20th june
A tiring day.. woke up early, went to cityhall and have lunch with huihui, she so poor thing lunching alone.. so i decided to be nice and acc her to have lunch. Then went hm after tt, tot i can sleep.. but then i din get any.. was busy preparing for ling's birthday celebration at mariott in the evening. So, after tt, have dinner over there, the food nt bad and the bill was reasonable. Headed down to double o.. drank and as usual im the first one to be nt ok.. haha.. but, i really want to say this out.. i really love huihui la, she's such a nice friend, drank, then had a little talk with her. to hui: 'i just wanna say sorry, sorry for being nt understanding in the past, and also sorry for shouting at u last night. Thanks for always being the one who is understanding and the reasonable one.' hui took gd care of me last night when i'm feeling uncomfortable inside O bar, she's a nice friend. I simply regretted to have the thought of giving up this friendship. For now, i'll be treasuring this friendship even more, and i'll try my best to be a better person. :)

21th june
I din had a nice sleep last night, was guilty over things tt had happened. im sorry(yes, is u tt im apologising to). Anyways, slept at 5 plus in the morning, woke up at 10.30 this morning. Went to acc hui to have lunch again. Thought i was able to meet my mei and all, but then she was sick, so in the end, we nv meet up. I went hm to change coz i come tt thing, and then i came out again to wait for hui to end work. Din wan to go hm early today, so hui acc me to have dinner and we chatted. Dinner and chatting session at TCC, long time nv go le.. haha.. i miss the food there. Had a long chat with hui, and i'm glad tt i had this chat with her. I've learnt alot today, i'll try my best in everything i do. thanks hui, u are really a friend tt is worth for me to dote on and treat u nicely. i hope, i won't ill treat u anymore. haha. Headed to raffles city to shop awhile and then headed home. A day spent meaningfully, and i noe its all worthwhile.

Very reluctant to blog.. coz.. i dunno wat i should blog.. i dunno if i should blog things tt are happy, unhappy or both.. haiz..

cai fen.. u were right.. i need to deicide.. and my decision is this:

"i really dunno wat i should say.. but i noe it v well tt deep dwn in my heart.. i dun wanna give up this friendship.. but.. i guess i should be v da fang, whoever needs u more than i do.. i shall let tt whoever have u.. coz i noe, tt whoever will always be there for u and will understand u more than i do.. tt whoever is better than me.. and my care for u, hopefully it will not get lesser.."

16th june 2007
Wrked at oscar oscar from 12 till closing.. and guess wat? after wrk.. i went to oph to find them! hehe. Then.. we went bowling at kim seng.. it seems like its their every night after work program.. wahaha. I played damn lousy during the tag team match.. argh.. sorry chris.. i brought the whole team down and made u lose a supper treat.. SORRY! and when there's no stress.. i play so much better.. argh.. wat is wrong man.. i tot i always worked well under pressure.. hahaha.. guess i've changed too..

17th june 2007
But then.. it was fun to hang out with oph ppl.. it was nv boring after tt BASTARD was gone.. wahahaha.. tml im working at oph! yea.. wee.. hopefully.. there's no more bowling game with them after wrk tml.. coz i scared mummy will nag at me.. but i think i will wanna join them.. haiz.. talking about mummy.. she so bad la.. she nv give me allowance for today.. and i need the money to go out.. haiz.. so.. in the end.. i paid for the movie ticket only.. the rest.. is paid by hui.. im owing her money again.. argh.. i need my pay.. seriously i need my pay.. i still owe bro money.. and luckily only hui and him.. if nt.. im gonna be in deep shit.. haha.. anyways.. bought ling's present and ordered cake le.. phew.. at least we gt everything done..

One piece is getting nicer.. i love watching one piece! Some ppl ask me why i like to watch one piece so much.. the reason is because i like the bond between their friendship.. the straw hat crew would always go all out to save their own nakama(friend).. i like the way the author had show how much they treasure each other.. they all went thru life and death together.. and they had very happy times but they oso had times tt were so heart breaking(i cried when i saw those heart breaking scenes).. all i can say is tt.. one piece is a anime tt shows friendship and a bunch of idiots who have their own speciality working towards one goal, that is to get the treasure 'one piece' left by the passed away pirate king, gold roger and oso, helping the main character, luffy the captain, to become the pirate king! I JUST LOVE ONE PIECE!

i got to know something tt i wished i din noe. but i was glad tt u told me.. u made me reflect on this friendship.. whether is it worth it anot.. so u dun feel bad tt u might caused things worse.. ok? coz u are nt the cause of it at all. wateva outcome it will be, its my decision.

So.. i had this conversation with cai fen in the early morning:


Fight to the last.. says:
haahaha
im glad to noe u and huiwen..
u gals made me feel treasure..
treasured*

Honey Stars says:
HAHAHA
you know
friends were never a coincidence in your life
so i gues you aren't one
and that we met for a reason!

Fight to the last.. says:
hahaha
ya..
i agree..
and there sre some fren tt u met them for the reason of getting hurt by them again and again..

Honey Stars says:
haha they are there for a reason too
a reason for you to learn
and experience the different people n life
nothing goes in the way we want what
so yea
bound to have people
it's how we face it

Fight to the last.. says:
ya.. true enough..
but u noe.. sometimes.. it really hurts alot esp when close frens hurt u..

Honey Stars says:
true true.
but when you think about it again
you had your fair share of fun and laughter
good times bad times
went through all
if ther's a day where everything has to come to end
what you have to do is bring on the memories
so yeah
the hurt
maybe it'll heal within time
life always moves on

Fight to the last.. says:
wow..
i din noe u can an wei so well..
hahaha

Honey Stars says:
haha it's not that la
it's lik
like*
i've been through a lot from friendships
i know how things goes
when you meet new poeple in life, when you settle down with a new group
you look back and reflect
of course you will feel like oh what good times i had, how i wish it was back then
but then, by the time you think back, you should look forward as well! cos you've moved on, and you know you're gna be happy, no matter what
haha this is so so important instead of dwelling in the past

END OF CONVERSATION.

Im just glad tt i get to noe cai fen, huiwen, wei ling, yan shan, lijun and zihui. Only until now, then i realise i have so many nice ppl around me.. its really my blessings. they had made me feel s treasured. maybe right now, i dun need a close fren, coz all the little care they add up, is good enough to be wat a close fren should gave me. Though, it is obvious wat im gng thru nw, but i guess.. ive to let it go to end all these sufferings. no point, if im the only one who is sad.. right?

i really wanna thank cai fen to talk me thru, im feeling so much better nw..

Wat do i wan nw? i dunno..

Wat i need nw? i dunno..

Wateva im doing nw.. is it right? i dunno.. but i hope so..

I need discipline in wateva i am doing now!! argh..

depressed.. i missed 38 sessions with mei mei.. cai fen.. sze ying and shan.. haiz.. i should have worked today.. damn.. but i can't work on sun oso.. damn it la.. i wan kbox with my meimei and all! when is our ladies night coming??? Argh..

Chatted with lia on msn just nw.. hmm.. wondering wat's going on with her life nw.. seems tt she had changed so much.. nt the nice lia i used to noe.. was kinda shock when she sid something.. its so nt like her.. haiz.. she made me think again.. maybe i should just take everyone for granted.. and i wun have problems anymore.. aaaaaahhhhhhh.. maybe i should change to the worse.. and makes everyone hates me..

someone pls help me....

i hope...

First day @ work in oscar oscar, it was quite fun, coz my colleagues make my day at work fun! These malay colleagues of mine are v nice ppl, they dun make me feel alone during my first day at work. My first task at wrk today was to do the ice cream pushcart at Song of the sea's entrance 1. It wasn't tiring and difficult to sell wall's ice cream.. did a $200+ sales withing 3 hrs.. which i think it was not bad for my first day.. contented. Counting stock isn't a chore but counting coins just makes me confused.. i'm just so afraid that i'll miscount the coins.. but luckily nth like this happened.*phew*

Anyways, ct is over... yea! hopefully i can pass both papers.. tt's all i wish for..

Wrk oph on wed and thurs, guess i'll miss the ppl there, wun be wrking there frequently anymore.. a bit sad ar.. no nonsense-ing with meimei, shan, caifen and sze ying... no disturbing of haidi.. no longer listen to weilong call me shifu.. no more non-stop mumblings frm hector.. no more julian to fight with.. all these made my days at oph so fun after some asshole had left. It was nice working in oph, though i used to hate this place.. haha.. but at least for nw, the manager is nice and the ppl there are nice too.. aww. Let's pray hard tt i'll be able to wrk in any functions within this month.

p.s. ling.. get over it soon ba.. ok? i noe u can do it de. i'm always here if u need a listening ear.. ok? mei mei.. we shall go kbox soon.. ok? i'll try to find time out. hee.

太在乎，太在意，难道这些都做得太过火了吗？现在的我才发现，原来，如此的过渡关心会引起这么多人的误会。原来把自己最重视的朋友排在心里的第一位会惹来别人这样的误解，早知如此，我就不因该如此的重视你，疼你。

可能，我根本就不配做你最好的朋友。。。

Hmm.. read shan's blog sometime ago.. it make me think.. think about what she wrote in tt entry..

友谊的定义到底是什么呢？友谊需要什么？一颗真诚的心？

一段坚固的友谊，真的需要经历了无数的考验吗？对我而言，就算是经历了无数的考验，朋友之间一点默契也没有，彼此的信任也完全不存在，这段友谊也不一定会坚固。

培养友谊需要一生，但吹毁友谊却只需一秒

好朋友不是什么都可以跟对方说吗？我再也不知道什么是好朋友，好姐妹。以前的我，非常用心的对待朋友，但是现在的我已对这段友谊感到厌倦，再也不知道如何挽回这段曾经是我最珍惜的友情。虽然嘴巴里说着对这段友谊感到厌倦，但我还是非常努力的在把我们之间的距离拉近。

我想找回以前的笑声。。。